Saturday, June 13, 2009

Oil and Diaper Changes

I figured I had 2 things to post about today so why not combine them. First I'll tell you about my oil change experience yesterday, then diaper changes......keep reading til the end it's hilarious! (unless you have a weak stomach then you might want to avoid the 2nd half of this one)

This week while Marcus has his tournament truck, we decided it would be a great time to get an oil change in the Jetta. As usual we were going to take it to the VW dealership. So I called to make an appointment. When the man told me I didn't need an appointment and to just "come on in whenever," I didn't think it would be a problem. I walk in by myself, Marcus was waiting in the truck, and when asked, I tell the man why I am there. He takes my keys, scratches my name and contact number down on a piece of paper, and tells me he will call me when it is ready. I thought it was a strange situation. They usually look me up in the computer, print off a piece of paper that tells me what is included with this oil change, take me out to do a "walk-around" of my car, and then I sign something. NONE of that happened this time.

I get back in the truck with Marcus and I said, "that was really weird, they didn't even make me sign anything or walk around my car with them." He said "they didn't do a walk around? Then we get a FREE oil change!" And he points to the huge sign I walked right by that says, "If we fail to do a thorough walk-around review of your vehicle at the time of write up, we will give you a free oil change." So Marcus gets out and goes in to talk to them about our free oil change. Let me just say that an oil change in the Jetta ain't chump change! So he approaches the man I spoke with and asks him if our oil change is going to be free. The man asks why he thinks that. Marcus told him what the sign out front said. The man got all defensive, and blamed everything on me. He said I walked out before he could do the walk-around, then he said I didn't have an appointment anyways, then he changed his story and said "well I haven't done her write up yet." Marcus was like "you took her keys and phone number, told her you would call her when it was ready, but you HAVEN'T written it up yet? AND you are blaming the customer for you not doing YOUR job!" The man was speechless. To make a long story short we got the oil change for free, but we surely wont be bringing our car back there anymore.

Now for the diaper story!
Lately I have been hounding my little brother (he's 17 years old) about changing the girls diapers. He always leaves the room whenever a diaper change is necessary. Part of me is just messing with him, but part of me wants to really see him change a diaper. So yesterday when I was at moms with the girls the time came when Ainslee needed a diaper, I knew it was poopie so it was a good time for him to learn. Mom made him come in the room with me, she figured I would make him do it. I was nice and decided that he should watch and learn first. He stood to the side while I opened the diaper, and he about gagged. Keep in mind Ainslee's diapers hardly smell, so I'm not exactly sure if it was the unusual color yellow or what. As he is holding his nose and gagging I am explaining the rules of changing a babies diaper.
Here's how the conversation went....
1st rule is only wipe front to back
Ok got it front to back
2nd rule be sure to clean in between all the fat rolls (my girls have tons of fat rolls, so this is an important rule)
fat rolls check
3rd rule you only need to use 2 wipes per diaper change
WHAT 2 wipes, that's ALL
Yes John 2 wipes
he is talking to Ainslee saying "AZ why dont you do your poopies on the potty? AZ that's GROSS!" (this is how Kaylee talks, it was quite funny)
After throroughly cleaning her, check to be make sure she doesnt need any diaper cream. (i figured that was a little much for his first time, but why not go ahead and mention it) I finished up the diaper, and I could see the look on his face it was something like, if that's what MY babies are going to do I might just reconsider. He was trying to soak in the whole experience.

Today was a different story, this time Kaylee needed a diaper change after her nap. And man was she s-t-i-n-k-y!!! John decided to take an attempt at this one, by HIMSELF as I watched. I looked down at Kaylee's face, she wasnt too sure about this idea. He proceeds to take off her shorts and open her diaper. Man I wish I had a video camera for this one. As soon as he opened her diaper he jumped back turned his head and this time I really thought he was giong to throw up.

Here is how this one went.....
JOHN you cant step away from a baby on the changing table!
OH SORRY and steps back so Kaylee doesnt fall off

Kaylee is still trying to figure out what is going on at this point, she has a look on her face like "it's ONLY poop Uncle John!"
I say, "John remember the steps?"
YEAH "FTB"
What is FTB John?
Front to Back
Good job, now go ahead and get a wipe
I CANT - I CANT - I JUST CANT DO IT!!!
So I take over, but he bravely stands nearby to watch, gagging the entire time and holding his nose. As I am changing her we review the steps again, and John says
That's just not right. That's like REAL poop!
"John what do you expect? She eats food just like you!" Just about this time my dad enters the room. Dad surely doesnt volunteer to change diapers, but if noone else is around he will do it. Dad is laughing his butt off at this whole situation. Meanwhile John is STILL holding his nose and gagging every few seconds.
After I am finished I give him the dirty diaper to take to the garage, and he hands it to Kaylee to take outside. I nearly peed in my pants. I guess you had to be there, it was SO FUNNY! But since you guys werent there to see it I thought I would share a video with you that is sorta similar. Someone sent this to me in an email a few weeks ago, I laughed, and thought nothing of it until now. John is going to be one of these dads in the video

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