Ryan's Home Birth Story

The morning of Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014 will be one I never forget! I had been anticipating this moment for months (even years). I didn't know quite how it would turn out, I had played it over and over in my head and "planned" how I wanted certain things, but it turned out even better than I could ever have imagined. To say that it was perfect would be an understatement. God was definitely in control and the stars were aligned that morning.

It started the night before, I had trouble getting kaylee to bed, so I let her sleep in our bed. I had a funny feeling that she was trying to get closer to me because she knew that it was "baby night" as she and Ainslee called it. So off to bed we went and at 4:09 I awoke with the overwhelming feeling of pressure down low. I laid there for a minute desperately trying to remember how I knew it was the "real" thing with Brynlee because I remember just KNOWING that was the day.  Here is what my conversation with Marcus looked like next (notice the times)

 

We started filling the pool with water about 4:50, I called Lynda (my midwife) to let her know my progress. she asked "how far apart are they?" When I told her about 8 minutes she asked if she should come now. I sort of fumbled with my words and Marcus, very assertively said from the other room "last time when you were 8 min apart we had a baby in an hour." she said she heard Marcus and then said "we are on the way." I continued to time my contractions, pacing the house trying to figure out what I needed to do next. Then I felt like I needed to try and slow things down, they were moving too quick, so I tried getting in the polar bear pose to take the pressure off. That only lasted a few seconds before I felt like it was time to wake kaylee. I struggled to get her up, and then continued to pace the house bracing myself with the counter whenever a contraction came. I noticed my contractions jumped from 8 minutes apart to 3 minutes. I called Lynda back to tell her and she assured me they were close and coming as quickly as possible. The moment Marcus announced the pool was full I told him I needed to get in. His response was "NOW??!"  So I climbed in and my immediate reaction was "oh my gosh this feels SO NICE!" I tried to get comfortable as I awaited the next contraction. The first contraction that came while in the water was way different. I felt the pressure, but it felt different. It was like the pressure was released into the water instead of building up in me, if that makes any sense. At some point Marcus sent kaylee in to wake up Ainslee, I just can't remember exactly when that was in the timeline. So I'm in the pool and a few contractions came, and then I let out a scream I felt the urge to push, so I did and I could feel my water break like a big balloon under the water. I was so relieved, one of my biggest fears/concerns was were my water would break. I told Marcus what happened and he called Lynda back again, she told him how far away she was and he told her what happened. Next thing I know they came barging in the front door, drop their bags, and got the fetal heart monitor out to check on the baby. Next thing I know Lynda was telling me that I needed to move away from the wall of the pool because the baby would have no where to go when it came out, so I crawled to the other edge of the pool when I felt the next urge to push. I had 2 contractions close together and that was when he was born. Lynda and Marcus were there to catch him as he came into this world. I had envisioned me getting to be the one to lift my baby out of the water, I imagined how magical it would be to watch him take his first breath. But alas my plan was not meant to be, and looking back on it I am so thankful that Marcus was able to be the one to lift him up and announce his gender, especially since he is our first (and most likely only) boy.  Lynda quickly handed him to me and while I sat there in total awe of my beautiful baby all I could think was "I can't believe I have a son!"

(ignore the picture, and just listen to the sound)

I knew the entire pregnancy he was a boy but even now I still have trouble wrapping my brain around it. I get so excited when I think of all the fun things to come. I'm thrilled at the opportunity to experience what it will be like to raise daughters AND a son! Each day I fall more and more in love with him! He is more perfect than I ever could imagine and he has been the best and easiest baby so far.

After I delivered him there was no suctioning. There were no interventions. I was allowed to sit peacefully as long as I wanted, just holding and staring at him. After a few minutes of him not crying Lynda gently came over and began rubbing his feet to get him to let out a big cry to clear his lungs. And he did! We waited and waited for me to deliver the placenta before resorting to me getting out of the pool. I was helped out by Lynda and Penny (her assistant) and laid down on the couch. I had attempted nursing in the pool to try and help the placenta along and then again after I got out. Unfortunately the placenta was not budging. Now I believe the reason why I had trouble was because I pulled an oblique muscle (muscle in the side of my abdomen) and was unable to push. Thankfully with a little help from Lynda I was able to deliver the placenta about an hour after his birth and all went smoothly. Ainslee was much more interested and involved than I ever imagined, while Kaylee surprised me by not being involved; she was more interested in Ryan.  After the placenta I was able to get up and get cleaned up. Lynda did the newborn assessment on Ryan with the girls right there to watch. She examined the placenta to make sure everything looked ok, and even gave the girls a little lesson. Since I had talked at great lengths about the birth process with the girls they were very interested in that part. So Lynda let them put on gloves and touch the placenta as well as ask questions about everything. I know this isn't for everyone but I couldn't be more happy with how his birthday played out! It was PERFECT!

In the days following his birth I was able to recuperate in my own home, thankfully I had the help of lots of visitors as well as Marcus; who stepped up to the plate big time! He was amazing letting me sleep in every morning, dealing with my raging hormones, taking care of the girls, and keeping the house mostly cleaned and picked up. I do think that I over did it the first couple of days just because I can't stand being slowed down. When I see something that needs to be done I want to get up and do it immediately. Which in turn was the reason why my recovery turned out to be even more difficult than just dealing with the pulled oblique. I ended up straining my adductor muscles in both legs (muscles on the inside of your thighs). This was extremely painful, mostly at night when attempting to move/roll over.  But as far as the recovery from the actual birth and all that goes with it, that was easy and only lasted about 1/2 as long as my other births.

This is the last shot of me pregnant,

I said I wanted to do this with each pregnancy and never did.

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Ive had that post written for just about 3 months, im not quite sure why I never posted it. But SOOOOO much has happened since then, I guess I'll go ahead and update it on here.

 

The biggest update I have is one of the most upsetting things for me to think/talk about. Ryan stopped nursing. He stopped just after he turned 2 months old.  I never thought this would/could happen to me. Ive never had a big problem nursing the girls, an occasional clogged duct and that's about it. But he hadn't been latching good, he was a fussy/gassy baby, he didn't eat good, he didn't sleep good, he cried and acted like he was in pain all the time. I finally gave in when I noticed he only gained a few ounces in 5 weeks. Im not a firm believer in growth charts and all that, but I knew something was wrong and that just confirmed it. I decided to ask my midwife for help. Within hours she and a lactation consultant were at my house trying to help. After many failed attempts the LC decided to try and give him a bottle to calm him and get him a little satisfied, and then try to nurse him again. So I pumped 2 ounces, she fed it to him. I think he drank it in 29 seconds and about 10 gulps. He was STARVING! I tried nursing again and he got so frustrated and refused to latch. So I pumped more and he took it from the bottle. I tried nursing again and still he wouldn't latch. And from that day on he has only nursed a handful of times and not for very long. It took me a long time to accept our new routine. In fact im still adjusting. Ive never had a bottle baby. I feel like it was all my fault, I could've done so many things differently. I cant provide for my child. I feel like a failure. it pains me to see other moms nursing their babies. I WANT to nurse him, and I just cant. Im still pumping, but Im only getting about 1/2 of what he eat in a day. Pumping is hard and painful, and time consuming. The little chunk wants to eat SO much! I know that this is what is best for him. He is such a different baby now. He sleeps, hes happy, he talks and coos, he doesn't scream in the car, and hes not in pain! He gained 8oz in just 5 days. he barely gained 1/2 that in the 5 weeks before.

So now he is on bottles full time. He will nurse a few times a week, but never to eat, mostly just for comfort. I used to have high hopes that I could pump long enough to maybe get him back on the breast full time, but alas as the days and weeks pass the less and less I think that will ever happen. I try to focus on the positives. Having a bottle baby is so much more freeing for me. I can leave him much earlier than I could with the girls. But the lack of bonding just kills me.

 

I am so thankful for the support of marcus and my midwife and the LC. Now my little guy weighs over 14lbs. he has gained about 3lbs in the month since starting bottles. and he SLEEPS, and is so happy! We have continued chiropractic care to try and help relieve the tension and possibly help get him to latch again.

 

Here's my little man so far....

 

 

To say this little man is loved is an understatement. I wish could describe how sweet and adoring his sisters are to him. They love him beyond words......and so do I!!!

Background: The Girls' Birth Stories

Im back.......and with LOTS of news........lets just say I REALLY need to think of a new name for this little neglected blog of mine


I wanted to post a little background info on my previous births before getting to "the most recent" amazingness i am so thankful I was able to experience. Don't get me wrong each one of them was super special in their own way. Let me just recap them all, as I remember them.

Kaylee my strong willed, mothering type, who can NOT wait to grow up. She was born at 5:15pm Sunday, January 7th, 2007 at GMH. She weighed 7lb 15.4oz. I added the .4 because the nurses actually argued as to whether or not they should list her at 7lb 15oz or bump her up to 8lb even. Whoever voted for the 7lb 15oz won, because that's what ended up being her official weight. She measured 20.75 inches long and pretty sure she scored 9 on both APGAR tests. I was induced with her somewhere between 5 and 7 days early; mostly because I was terrified of going into labor while teaching 18 4yr olds. I totally wish I would've know better. So we basically picked her birthday, told no one, showed up to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning, started the typical induction protocol and things started moving along rather quickly. I had decided I wanted to try going without the epidural, but when it came down to it I felt bullied by the nurses and sad to say Marcus scared me into it too. I think he was persuaded by the nurses as well. I dilated quickly the contractions were strong and close and when the nurse came in and said "you know it could be up to 2 hours before you get pain relief from the time you ask for your epidural". So I caved. Had my epidural shortly after and progressed even faster. I could only lay on my right side because if I ever tried to switch to my left side, move in the slightest way, Kaylee's heart rate would be affected and that didn't sit well with the nurses. So I was banished to my right side no matter how uncomfortable I was. And I also remember them trying to screw that fetal monitor thingy to her head, but thankfully she had so much hair they couldn't get it attached. What was I thinking? Oh I forgot to mention I had one of those "nurses in training" assigned to me too, which I didn't really have a problem with, they have to learn sometime right?? The reason why I mentioned that was because when it came time to push she had me sitting in a nearly upright position. My body was basically in a "V" shape. The baby could not descend any further due to this position so all my attempts at pushing, for like 1-2 hours mind you, were fruitless. I was beginning to tire, when I perked up and heard the doctors and nurses talking quietly by the door about a possible C-sec. I piped up rather loud and said "I will NOT have this baby by C-sec, so you might as well stop discussing that as an option". I tend to get really moody and hostile in labor. ;) shortly after that my head nurse came in to check on me and asked if I was comfortable and why I was in such an upright position. She suggested they lay the table back flat and BAM like 3 pushes later out pops Kaylee into our world! Why didn't I think of that? Total time in labor was about 9-10 hours and I required a few stitches for a minor tear. I was able to attempt nursing her almost immediately. Had a bit of trouble, knowing what I know now I had lots of trouble, and we were off to our postpartum room. She got all the routine procedures done to her accept that I asked that she be bathed in my room, not sure if it was her real first bath or not but they did bath her in my room. I had to be catheterized a few hours after having her because I had no feeling in my right leg, due to the epidural, so I was unable to get up and go to the bathroom by myself. It wasn't until the next day that I regained my mobility. So NOT cool! She went to the nursery each night and during the day when I requested it. We were discharged with a healthy baby 2 days later and our little family became a little bit bigger.

Ainslee my super sensitive, caring, thoughtful child was born at the same hospital at 12:34pm Thursday, February 12th, 2009. She weighed 7lb 4oz and was 20.25 inches long. Both her APGAR scores were also 9. I was also induced with her approximately 7 days early, it was originally scheduled for 15 days early due to our move to Hawaii. But when that fell through we moved the date back. I chose induction again primarily because I still felt such a high about Kaylee's birth, in my eyes it was perfect. (You know how they describe that feeling of your first high, that is never attainable again which is why people get addicted to drugs so easily. I wouldn't know firsthand but I clearly remember learning about it in school.) so for that reason only I chose to attempt to recreate the amazingness and induce again. Why didn't I realize that the amazingness I felt came from the fact that I brought home a beautiful, perfect baby girl. It wasn't the manner in which we chose to bring her home (make sense). Anyways, so again we picked the birthday, we told people about our induction this time, kaylee spent the night at my parents house the night before so we could go to the hospital early the next morning to start the routine all over again. Again I wanted to try and go without the epidural, especially with the complications I suffered after delivery last time. I asked if I could get up and walk around or squat or just try and manage my pain naturally. All my requests were denied. Finally, I was able to convince them to just let me get up and go to the bathroom. Labor progressed much faster this time and again I caved and got the epidural. I bet if they would've checked me prior to giving me the epi they wouldn't have given it, because I bet I was 9-10 cm dilated. She was born about 10 minutes after getting the epidural with little effort pushing. We were shocked and elated to hear we had another beautiful baby girl! I nursed her immediately and introduced her to her big sister shortly afterwards. Total time in labor was about 4-5 hours and I didn't require any stitches. During our second attempt at nursing, in delivery room, the nursery nurse came in and attempted to take her to the nursery for "evaluation and tests". I protested and said she was nursing and they could do the tests in my room when she was finished. They stated it was "hospital protocol" to take all babies to the nursery within 1 hour of birth." WHAT? So she came back at the one hour mark and physically took her off of my breast and whisked her away to the nursery for "testing".  To say I was pissed was an understatement. When they finally brought her back, not sure how much time had past, they informed me that her blood sugar was low and they needed to give her formula to raise it up. I thought my head was going to explode. I said "so you took her while she was nursing, and bring her back to me saying that she needs to eat because of her blood sugar?" Seriously? By this time she was so exhausted she wouldn't perk up enough to nurse. I was bullied more by the nurses about this whole blood sugar thing but thankfully I won and she was not given formula, at least to my knowledge. I asked if she could be bathed for the 1st time in my room, they again gave me trouble but finally agreed to the inconvenience. I didn't learn until days later that they actually bathed her for the 1st time in the nursery and then lied to me about it! I did allow her to go to the nursery at night but kept her in my room each day. Nursing came easier to me this time around. We were discharged 2 days later and our little family got a bit bigger.

Brynlee my OCD, impatient, game changer, but super lovable one came into our world at 6:54 am on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011. She weighed 8lb 10.6oz so they rounded her up to 8lb 11oz. She was 21 inches tall (but still think they measured wrong). I'm pretty sure I recall her scoring an 8 on one APGAR and 9 on the other. She is what I like to call my "unassisted hospital birth." I was adamant I didn't want to be induced, I didn't want to pick her birthday, I wanted what I set out for 5 years earlier when I was pregnant with kaylee. I deserved to labor and deliver how I wanted. This decision, I felt, was met with slight resistance from Marcus, as I don't think he could understand why I wanted to be in pain when I could have relief and why I wouldn't want to do the convenient thing and induce again. Thankfully he came to support my decisions.  I went into labor with her while Marcus was at work about 2:40ish that morning. Got up, cleaned some toilets, straightened my hair, called Marcus and my mom.....you can read her whole birth story here.  Basically this was more in line with what I had in mind when I pictured how I wanted originally to give birth. Well minus the trauma of it all. I wanted no interventions I wanted to be able to labor as my body dictated. And I didn't want them telling me what was "protocol". Again, I became hostile in labor when they attempted to do things I wasn't comfortable with, but for the most part I was pleased with this experience (again minus the trauma). I kept her by my side, literally, for the entire time we were in the hospital. I even had the nurses say to me when they came to check my blood pressure at all hours of the night, "you are going to put her back in her bassinet when you finish nursing....right???" Yeah sure whatever I need to say to make you go away and leave me alone. I struggled postpartum. I had issues I hadn't dealt with after my previous deliveries, and thankfully I was able to work through them in the weeks following her birth. She didn't have any of the typical "newborn protocol" done to her. I'm pretty sure all I let them do was the heel prick and the hearing screening. Nursing was super easy for me this time and we were discharged 2 days later.

In a nutshell those are the stories of my first 3 births as I recall them 7, 5, and 2 years later. Stay tuned for the most recent birth story.....

It's been awhile! I am still here........

Hello my faithful blog buddies!

I'm not sure many of you have hung around waiting on my next post, in fact I'm pretty sure I've lost all 6 of my readers. Which is totally understandable since it has been nearly 14 months since my last post. I'm not even going to begin to try and fill you in on everything that has gone on since I was last on here. I will fill you in on the new stuff going forward. And when I say "fill YOU in" I really mean "write this stuff down so I don't forget". If I'm friends with you on FB you know pretty much most of what has been going on with us, buuuuut......keep reading there are some surprises for you guys too!


1st we are about to go on our FIRST CRUISE!
Marcus and I have been talking about it since, well since attempting to plan our honeymoon 10 years ago, which never happened. We finally bit the bullet and booked one! All 5 of us and my mom are going on a 7 night Exotic Western Caribbean cruise next month. Our excitement level is through the roof. I told the girls I might just start packing us now.


Ok so if can you imagine how excited we are about that there is something EVEN MORE EXCITING coming up.......




Any guesses????
























































We will be welcoming baby #4 sometime late March or early April!

 

                                 the head is on the left, you can see all 4 arm and leg buds! So amazing!






And what is even MORE exciting than THAT???
We are planning a home birth! This is something I have dreamed about for years now! I am so thankful to have the full support of my husband and midwife to help me on my journey. I am perfectly confident in my body to be able to do the most natural thing mothers have been doing since the beginning of time! And I am looking forward to a peaceful experience in the comfort of our own home with no drugs, little or no intervention, and just letting my body (and baby) dictate how the story plays out! I've never been so excited about the unknown!




To answer some of the most common questions Ive gotten so far......

Where will the kids be?

Well that all depends on Mother Nature. If it happens in the middle of the night they just might miss it. But hopefully it won't. I want my kids to play as much of a part in the birth of their new sibling as they want. We will be learning lots about birth prior to the big day. And I know Kaylee will be my MW's right hand helper. My MW has already told me she will let Kaylee do as much or as little as she wants to do. Kaylee is going to be so excited when she finds out what role she will get to play.

What if something goes wrong?

This has never been a concern of mine. However, it was Marcus' biggest concern. Like I said, I am fully confident in my body, but IF something were to go wrong I trust that my MW would detect all the warning signs and take action before it was too late.

WHERE will you have the baby......the bath tub?

This one just makes me laugh! I am planning a water birth, but not in my bath tub. I will be getting a birthing tub. Whether or not I have the baby in the water is a different question. We will all just have to wait and see.

Who all will be there?

1st and foremost my husband and children. I would also love for my most favorite photographer ever to come capture everything, especially since she missed my last one. And then hopefully someone to help with the littles, not sure who that will be yet. I have definitely had people offer, which is kinda strange and cool at the same time.

(Not related to home birth)

Are you going to find out the gender of this baby?

Yes we will......when he/she is born!

 

I know there have been more questions I have already answered, but my mommy brain has kicked into full gear so remembering them just isn't in the cards. If you have any questions feel free to ask I will be happy to answer if I can.

Oh I remember one......
Do you know anyone who has done this? I have 2 "friends of a friend" who have. And I have a friend who attempted with her 1st and unfortunately ended up being transferred. Besides that I don't know ANYone!

I also want to say that over the past 14 months I have not only neglected MY blog I have not read a single blog post of yours! So I have no idea what is going on with all my blog buddies. Hope you all are well and have had a great past 14 months.

Oh i almost forgot!  How am I feeling and how far along am I?
I am 9 1/2 weeks and I feel better than any of my other pregnancies. My nausea has been very lite. Most days with none. I don't have food or smell aversions. My biggest complaint is the exhaustion. Which is totally understandable given I have 3 kids ALL DAY LONG and homeschool! But I wouldn't change it. I don't want to send them to school just so I can rest. I love that they get to share this experience with me. I love that Ainslee asks me EVERYday how the baby is feeling and how I am feeling. And Kaylee asks how big the baby is and if I can feel "her" kicking. (Kaylee is dead set on this being another girl!) and I love when I ask Brynlee to point to my baby that she immediately points to my belly button. And we never taught her that! Some people say I feel different because this is a boy. Which is a legitimate guess. But I truly attribute it to our change in life style. Mostly in the way we eat. I love that I am getting to teach the girls about REAL food, healthy food, and traditional cooking. They are catching on and building a solid foundation for a lifetime of healthy living. And that makes me more happy than the way I feel temporarily when pregnant! So feeling good is just a bonus! So I said me feeling better is "mostly" from the way we eat, I think it is also because my body is just plain ol' used to being pregnant. I mean I've been pregnant for about 29 out of the last 89 months! THAT'S CRAZY!!! Ok so there it is, all the updates. I'm not sure when I will be posting again. It just might take me awhile to get back into the swing of things.

(Great) Grandma's Furniture

This post has been a LOOOONG time in the making!

 

After my grandmother passed away earlier this year my dad asked me if i wanted her vanity. I screamed YES before he could even finish his sentence. I was so thrilled to be able to get to have a little something that was special to her. Come to find out is was more special than I could have ever imagined! Turns out her chest of drawers and vanity were a matching set so I was going to get BOTH of them!!! When we got the furniture back here I made the decision to have someone restore the pieces. My dad found a guy who has a business out of his house and thats who we chose, and I am so glad we did. He did such an amazing job! Here are the pictures that were taken before any work was done.

Originally we were going to have the pieces stripped and restained. But after thinking about it, I decided I wanted them to look as natural as possible. So I asked the man doing the work for us if we could see them after they were stripped to make up our mind. Here they are after stripping

I chose to just have them clear coated and to let the natural mahogany shine. I am so thankful I did because they turned out magnificent!  The man told me that when he took the backing of the mirror off to remove the glass he found a date. Turns out these were made in July 1937. My grandparents were married JULY 1937 and these were most likely a wedding gift or purchased by them after their marriage. When I learned this my knees almost buckled (and Im getting goose bumps right now just typing about it) How lucky am I to be able to have pieces of furniture that were obviously super special in the life of the woman I admire most! And this marks the 2nd set of furniture I own from my grandparents. I've had my maternal grandmothers' bedroom suite for like 15 years now, and it too holds a special place in my heart!
Here are the pieces as soon as we got them into Kaylee's room. We werent allowed to put the hardware back on for 5 days so that the sealer stuff could harden and set properly.

Here is the chest of drawers completely finished with the hardware.

And the vanity

I am still so happy everytime I think about the fact that I am lucky enough to own both sets of grandparents' furniture. And they are both remarkably beautiful sets!

Brynlee's Baptism

A few weeks ago we had our little B Baptized, sadly her Godmother was not able to attend. My mom stood in as proxy Godmother and my brother, her Godfather, was in town from school to attend.

both big girls have a pair of bloomers like this, made monogrammed by the same lady, that they wore on the day they were baptized. I was SOOOO unprepared this go-around that I didnt even organize for Brynlee's to be made.  side note: both the others were Baptized at 6 weeks of age, the thought of Brynlee's Baptism hadnt even crossed my mind until the child was nearly 2 months old. My mom surprised me on that day and gave Brynlee these bloomers. I was SOOOO happy! Thank you Amma/proxy Godmother!



ignore the drunk eyes

Deacon Miles has now Baptized all three of our girls. He is a family friend and we are so thankful for his involvement in our child's lives. You can see how adoringly Brynlee would stare at him whilst he performed this Sacrament.

We are 3 for 3 with babies who LOVE the water, she even cooed as he splashed the water on her head.

Here's the whole clan

Ainslee had had enough at this point, some of the pictures of her are hilarious......like this one!

and this one

 

It was a fabulous day!

Changes in Attitudes - Kindness Day

In many ways I know that i am doing this whole "mommy thing" great!  But there is one way that I have been failing them, Failing with a CAPITAL F! We dont speak kindly in our house. We talk too loud, on most occasions we dont ask we take, we lie, we talk back to adults, we take advantage of situations (in the wrong way), we dont respect each other, and most of all we just speak ugly. And I have had enough! I have wanted to do something about this for a LoooooONG time now, but until now it was all talk, no action. Today was that turning point. I have decided  that today is the start of our new attitudes, a new beginning for our family. One that involves a whole lotta KINDNESS!!! And I think respect will soon follow, if we all just start being more kind to one another.

Today we started the morning off slowly, I wasnt expecting much today because I knew Ainslee was starting to get sick. So we took the morning slowly very slow! The girls played nicely while I took longer than normal to get Brynlee down for her nap, they listened to my directions and completed a school game together AND correctly with NO supervision and NO fighting.

And then I broke it to them, I announced that today was kindness day. I told them we were going to start speaking kindly to each other, that we were going to make kindness crowns, and we started reading a book about respect, Im still on the hunt for a good curriculum that helps teach values to preschoolers. I need something on their level, I want something with activities and games and even ideas to help give back to the community. I need it laid out for me, I dont have time to put these lessons together myself, I need the easy way out. So if you know of any good books/curriculum that help teach things like respect, honesty, dedication, fairness, trust, helping, etc please let me know. I did borrow a few books from my parents that we had when we were younger, but I fear they are a bit too advanced for them at this age.

Our day started by me reading a few pages from the RESPECT book I got from my parents, the girls listened, asked questions, and seemed interested. Then Brynlee interrupted us, and I took that opportunity for a stopping point, we will read more tomorrow. Then we proceeded with our school day as usual. I took each an every opportunity to praise them for speaking kindly, and point out to them how they could change what they said to be more kind. I didnt raise my voice one single time today, I didnt get upset or angry by their actions at all, we were able to get a lot accomplished and we worked together. There was a tangible peace surrounding us today and it was nice! I was AMAZED by the results I received! Our morning went so fantastic. There was no complaining, there was no talking back, there was a WHOLE lot of listening, and it was magical!

We made kindness crowns! We cut them out and decorated them with stickers, colors, do a dots, and glitter pens. After they dry we are going to wear them, and wear them proudly! Because we all deserve it.

The part that made me realize I needed to document this whole kindness day came when it was nap time. I got Ainslee down for her nap. Kaylee and I finished up a few things together (I usually let her stay up a little later than Ainslee) we finished her kindness crown, ate cookies we baked this morning, she sorted the laundry and put hers away while I tended to Brynlee. It was magical! Then when it was time for bed, she didnt throw a fit, she didnt jump up and down, she didnt protest, she listened and spoke in a normal tone. When she had something to say she spoke kindly, she asked if she wanted something other than what was being offered. When I laid Brynlee down on her bed so I could go and take Ainslee to the potty, I came back to Kaylee talking to her while she put away her clothes. She was saying things like "Look B I'm putting my pajamas in my pajama drawer." and "now I am putting away my purple shirt." She is so eager to teach Brynlee. It was so sweet. After I put Ainslee back into bed, I came back and found this scene

I can not get over how much love Kaylee has for her little sister. I know that she loves Ainslee too, but the bond I see forming between Kaylee and Brynlee is nothing short of amazing and so incredibly special to watch. I wish I could capture more of the special moments I witness on camera.

check out the admiration in her face



ok so back to my story, I come in and witness that and then inform Kaylee it is bed time. We give kisses, hugs, say goodnight, and that was that. No crying, no arguing, NO FITS! And she went to sleep immediately, which is almost unheard of these days. I was so happy I nearly cried! I realized in that moment I have truly been failing my kids. I thought about all the fights that have ensued, all the tears that have been shed, and all the negativity shared amongst our family and I realized that if we all just make a point to change we can ALL be so much happier!

I couldnt believe how quickly I was able to see changes, and how drastically these changes affected our lives. We are calm, we are nice, we know that our voice will be heard without screaming and without fit throwing, and above all I think we are on the road to RESPECT! I learned that if I speak quieter it is more effective than when I yell. In the past I would say something, it would inevitably be ignored, so I in turn would say it louder and louder until I was angry and annoyed. And it didnt work, my new solution is to lower my voice, get the child's full attention, and speak kindly.  I want to raise our children a certain way and one of the most important things to me is respect, respect for yourself AND respect for others.  Here's to the beginning of the new Martinez family!

Updates on Everyone and Everything

Lots has been going on around here and I feel like this ole forgotten blog needs an update, so here goes in bullet format

• I am 3cm dialated and 50% effaced. I could potentially walk around like this for weeks, but my doc seems to think Im going to go early. We will see! I have my birth plan almost finalized, I went on a tour of the new hospital and I have begun all the nesting routines around here. I think we are just about as ready (as we will ever be) to bring this baby home! My next appointment is Monday, cant wait to see if I have made anymore progress.
• The girls are trying to get sick again. Just a little head cold, but anything that makes our days harder is NOT welcome around here. I have to say they both handle being sick very well all things considered. So I cant complain too much. I just hope they are better before baby arrives.
• We STILL havent completely narrowed down names for this little one, that should probably be moved to the top of the TO DO list.
  I recently got my new stroller and am IN LOVE with it! It is the Baby Jogger City Select, I got it on super sale with the second seat and adaptor. It is so versitale and easy to use. Cant wait to cart the wee one around in it. Marcus and I decided it was our Christmas gift to each other, so we will enjoy bringing home a new baby as our Christmas gift to each other as well as giving gifts to the girls.
• Christmas shopping for everyone else is just about 1/2 finished. I would like to be farther along in this category.
• I am hoping to get the Christmas decorations down today and up over the next couple of days. I told Marcus if we dont have our tree up by next weekend we arent getting one. I really hope that he comes through and gets his girls a tree so we can decorate it.
• Oh almost forgot, we had a fabulous Thanksgiving with my family yesterday, and will celebrate with Marcus' family on Sunday. It is really nice to spread it out, cause I cant fit much in my smoshed stomach, and I just love eating Thanksgiving food!
• I am still in the process of getting Kaylee's room upstairs ready, I really wanted to have it painted by now,. but that has NOT happened. Ainslee has been asking lately to sleep in a big girl bed. She is excited about getting out of her crib. But she still doesnt try to climb out of her crib by herself......thankfully!
• One of my bestest friends is moving away from me! She is not only the closest in proximity to me, but our girls get along, and we are so similar in our beliefs and how we raise our girls. Not to mention she is my biggest home school support person. She isnt moving far from here (4 hour drive) but she will be missed more than words can describe.
• Speaking of home school it has sort of taken a back seat lately. Between me not feeling well, finishing our current curriculum, the girls spending the night out, and the holiday we havent been doing much in the school department. I still feel like she has gotten WAY more "education" at home than she would have going to MDO 2 days a week, so I dont feel too bad about taking an extended break.
• Kaylee has been more and more into watching movies lately she is still quite particular with what holds her attention. It is so adorable to watch the 2 of them watching a movie and Ainslee turning to Kaylee to ask quesitons about what is going on or why things are happening in the movie. Kaylee takes the time to explain it to her sister. They can be SO super sweet to each other it nearly makes me cry.

I know I have more updates, but once again my brain has failed me.......besides this is probably enough to bore you for one day.

Out of Commission --edited

Not much to say today, well actually I have a LOT to say, but Im not doing it tonight!

Last week we think our house might have been struck by lightning, if not that then some strange and strong power surge hit us. It completely fried our phone, like the ACTUAL phone wont even turn on, but the phone LINE is working fine. Since we had an "all in one cordless" set of 3 phones we have had NO house phone for over a week now (its been really peaceful around here in that regard). The lightning/surge also blew out our modem, so I got a new modem, and that apparently isnt the only problem, having man come out tomorrow to find out where/what the the rest of the damage is with the darn internet. Which BTW is why I havent posted any Florida pics, info, or videos. I am currently typing on Marcus' computer and dont want to load everything on here and then onto MY computer too. UGH! The lightning/surge also affect our DirecTV. We have 2 boxes and it only affected one......weird. And it only affected certain channels the others work perfectly......weirder! AND the channels that were left intact are Marcus' favorites.......weirdest! So the DirecTV man is coming out tomorrow as well.

In other news I have started my cleanse. I cant wait to tell you about it!

I am growing bigger and bigger, baby is kicking more and more and the girls are DYING to be able to feel the kicks. They are so sweet with my belly, showering it with kisses at random times during the day, and the baby is the first one to get a "good morning" every day. I can only imagine what it will be like once the baby arrives.

The girls have become MASTERS at playing by themselves (especially upstairs). It is so fabulous to have some minutes to myself during the day. However, there is a price to pay for such alone time, as in extraordinary messes, unwanted things being touched/played with, and water play on the hard wood.

I have been crazy busy the past couple of days. We have spent both of them at home, which has been quite nice considering all the time we have been away lately. I have done some serious cleaning, and feel like I havent even put a dent in what needs to be done!

Kaylee has become more and more independent, she is helpful most of the time when it comes to "chores", she will eat just about anything to get dessert oh how I LOVE a good eater, is FEARLESS when it comes to water/swimming, and there was one more thing I had in my brain I wanted to mention about her, but somehow my "pregnancy brain" got the best of me and I have forgotten. ***

Ainslee astonishes me daily with her speech (her sentences are growing into some serious conversations), her memory, her resourcefulness, like her sister is fearless when it comes to water/swimming (just wait til you see some of the videos), and her LOVE of smoothies even the disgusting ones! stay tuned for cleanse update for more info on that one


I said more than I wanted to......so good night to you all......have a HAPPY FRIDAY!


***I remembered......Kaylee slept in 7 different beds in during the 3 week times around our vacation, and her questions about the baby are becoming more and more interesting some of them are, "How did the baby get in your belly?" and my most favorite "How is the baby going to get out of your belly?" I have not answered either question honestly yet. Honestly I dont know how to answer those on a 4 year old level, especially the second one. I told her to ask Marcus and his response was "let's ask the doctor at mommys next appointment." I thought that was a pretty good answer, but that day is coming up really quickly and I know my elephant will never forget to ask the doctor her question.***

Amma's House

As I mentioned before the girls spent the night with Amma on the night of my birthday. Mom took Kaylee to VBS with her the next day while my dad and sister entertained Ainslee. Kaylee loved VBS so much that she begged Amma to take her the following day, which was Tuesday. I never did sign her up this year because I knew it would be out of the question for me to drive her in every morning for 5 mornings. But since mom works VBS and is a big part in it, she said Kaylee could come with her. So Kaylee spent the night with Amma AGAIN Monday night, while Ainslee and I headed home. Then Tuesday we were all three headed home to sleep and about 30 minutes before bedtime the power goes out. After 45 minutes of no power the temp had already climbed 3 degrees in the house, and I knew that there was no telling when/if we would get power back, so I packed the girls up and we all headed back to Amma's house. I got the girls straight to bed and then about 30 minutes later I get the news (from a neighbor) that the power was back on after 2 hours of being out. But I decided to stay anyways, the girls were both down already, and there was no guarantee the power would stay on all night. This was Kaylee's 3rd night staying at Amma's.


Wednesday night, I had already scheduled the girls to spend the night with Amma so I could go out to a Alumni Soccer Pizza Party. dont everyone stop breathing like I almost did, I know this is like my first girls night in like probably 4 years! I asked my mom to keep the girls before I knew about her watching them for my birthday, before I knew Kaylee would beg to spend a second night, and obviously before I knew our power would go out. So I felt kinda of bad about them spending the night again but I figured at some point I have to be a little tiny bit selfish about getting time with BIG girls. So I dropped the girls as planned, already fed, bathed, and dressed for bed, and enjoyed the rest of the drive to the partay with my friend Roni. I, by the way, had a fabulous time, chatting with all the ole timers, and meeting all the youngins. We made our own pizzas, i brought my own GF pizza. It was a great night!


I picked up both girls Thursday early afternoon, and headed home, it was really weird having both of them back in the house together after four days of craziness. You wouldve thought I had had the time to cook, clean, do laundry, etc, but the house was a mess, dinners were non-existent, and the laundry is piling up by the second. I am dying to get some energy back!

Why I've Been Away

Ive been doing a lot of....

fighting back nausea

answering questions

taking naps

chasing 2 little girls

being disgusted by the thought/look/smell of food

visiting with old friends

taking middle of the night trips to the bathroom

getting ready for summer

visiting the doctor

and here's why

I am 10 weeks pregnant!

I still have trouble believing it sometimes, but after 8 months of failure, I am finally PREGNANT!!!

We will be getting a nice little Christmas surprise this year. I am due December 20th, and once again we are keeping the sex of the baby a surprise until the birth.

Both of the big sisters are thrilled! Kaylee obviously has more of an understanding of what is going on, but is having trouble waiting. She asks multiple times a day "Is the baby coming out today?" "Is the baby growing?" "Is your belly getting bigger?" etc. Ainslee will tell you where the baby is when asked and even randomly kiss my belly, but she obviously has NO concept of time so the wait has been much easier for her thus far.

And here is how we made the announcement to our families

We found out the week before Easter that we were expecting, so after waiting on the initial blood work we decided to tell the family really really early. I decided to create this little note and put them in a plastic egg (along with a scratch card) and put them on every ones plate at dinner. I have to say some thought actually did go into the design of the announcement. I wanted it to be Easter themed, I wanted it to be sort of obvious what the purpose was, but I didn't want it to be too obvious. Get what I'm saying? So I made the "Happy Easter" in white smaller font, and then the date in the middle of the page in larger BOLD font. But after all the careful thought and planning, and revealing the egg, of all the family members, my sister was the only one to figure it out! It was definitely fun watching the looks on every ones faces as they finally figured it out. It was funny watching most of the people completely dismiss the "announcement" and go straight for the scratch card. It was even funnier that Marcus and I were the ONLY ones who won on any of the scratch cards. We will definitely be needing that money.....hahahaha!

So stay tuned for all the pregnancy updates