I HAVE A KINDERGARTENER!!!

Kaylee has been begging me for weeks now to start her Kindergarten curriculum that has been sitting in a box in the school room for a couple of months now. Finally I gave in and decided I would let her start it because she was so determined to do so. That is the beauty of homeschool, if she wants to start school in June......so be it. If we want to take the month of September off.......we can! The first day went well and after the 2nd day I noticed that she had already completed ONE TENTH of her entire curriculum for Kindergarten. Now after less than a week she is ONE FIFTH of her way through!  If we continue on this pace (mind you I am not forcing her to do any of this, she comes to me throughout the day asking to do more schoolwork) she can finish Kindergarten and start 1st grade by this fall! Now dont get your feathers ruffled (the person I am referring to, you know who you are), Im not saying thats what I am going to do. im not exactly sure what I am going to do about this situation yet.

I knew when the curriculum arrived it was going to be easy for her. I even tossed around the idea of finding another curriculum. But a great friend and homeschooling expert advised me to stick with it even if it was too easy. I am glad I did! I think I will continue to use this curriculum throughout our homeschool experience. I love it and it is apparent that she loves it too. I love the fact that it is gentle and encouraging, I love how it is repetative and she knows what to expect. And I dont want to bounce around from curriculum to curriculum each year. I want to stick with what we start with (unless we hate it, but obviously we dont) and that way she is where she needs to be to move on to the next level. My fear is that she might be behind when/if we out her in school. Hopefully that will never be the case!

Kaylee has also been asking me to start the 1st grade math curriculum I purchased. The girl LOVES her math! YAY for that! So I am getting the teachers manual for that curriculum and we will be starting it soon, per her request.
Also, Kaylee has asked on numerous occasions about electricity. She says, and i quote, "mommy can you teach me about electricity in Kindergarten. I want to know all about it!" How can I NOT teach her about electricity when she is dying to learn about it! So I have ordered a science kit pertaining to electricity. She also seems super into blood and guts and that sort of thing so I bought her a science kit and a few books pertaining to that topic as well.



Now I have to decide what the heck Im going to do when she finishes Kindergarten this summer! Any ideas/suggestions???

Funny things kids say....

Kaylee:
When I dropped her off for her first day of horse camp I hadnt told her about the camp prior to that day. I didnt want there to be any problems with Ainslee feeling left out or Kaylee having trouble sleeping beforehand from being excited. Anyways so we were walking up and Kaylee kept asking questions about what was going to happen and what they were going to be doing. As I was saying good bye to her she says "Mommy I might get to touch a horse today!" Little did she know then that she would be riding one. And to think that she was SOOOO excited about the thought of even touching one!

Ainslee:
we were driving one day and she asks "Mommy where are we going?" I said we have to find somewhere I can park so I can nurse Brynlee. She then noticed the car in front of us was making the same turns as us and appeared to be going the same place as we were. Then she asked "Mommy is that car going to find somewhere to nurse their baby too?"

Kaylee:
One night we were out to eat dinner and we ordered fries. As Kaylee bit into her giant steak fry she looked inside of it. She leaned over to me and whispered "Mommy there are potatoes inside these fries!" and I said "YES Kaylee that is what fries are made out of." She immediately leaned over to Ainslee and said "Ainslee we are eating potatoes!"



There have been MANY more things they have said lately but I failed to remember them or write them down, so they are lost and gone forever, unless they ever say them again

1st Camp

Kaylee went to her first camp this summer. She has been to VBS, which I dont consider a camp, but it is sort of like camp. HA! anyways, I signed her up for a horse camp. I couldnt pass up the Groupon deal when it rolled through my email. It was $125 for a 5 days, 6 hours/day camp. I think she was a bit young for the camp, but I think she still enjoyed it. The days were SUPER long for her and she crashed hard every night. I really enjoyed the extra time with Ainslee and Brynlee too. While at camp she learned not only how to ride, but also about horse equipment and general info about the horses. Like I said she was a bit young for the camp (even though they allow 5 year olds) but one day she came home so excited that she got to take the horses' temperature she said "mommy I even got to stick the thermometer in its booty!" She can be so disturbing sometimes. One day they rode the horses in the water, and while I think she thought that was the coolest thing when we got her home and found TWO ticks on her she quickly began to DISlike the whole situation! Then after doing her laundry from that day I noticed tons of seed ticks on her socks and her shirt. I did not count them all but there had to be over 60 ticks on her clothing. DIS-GUSTING!!! And while she wasnt a fan of the long hot days, I wasnt a fan of the dirtiness! But we all made it through the week. Oh and on top of the "horse" stuff they did and the educational part of the camp they also threw in some crafts. One day they decorated horseshoes to bring home, one day they cut out pictures from magazines and made a wish list of horse things, one day they tye dyed shirts, and I cant remember what they did the other days.

The final day the parents were asked to come early to watch them "perform". My parents wanted to join us so Kaylee had a pretty big crowd. Before the riding began the campers showed us a dance they learned during their "down" time. You can tell where she got her dancing skills.....from her parents! (neither of us like to dance!) And you can also tell how incredibly exhausted she is! But it sure is funny!

Here she is riding her horse. The camp leaders told me that Kaylee always chose to ride the biggest horse they offered her. That didnt surprise me! Oh and she also learned how to trot at camp, which she was totally proud of. They gave the kids the option to show off their skills to the parents and Kaylee chose NOT to show her steering skills. This totally bummed me out. The counsellors said that she could in fact do the skill which made me a little happy, but sad she wouldnt show us. :(

As of right now I do NOT forsee horses in our future......THANK GOD!!!

Grandma

The beloved matriarch of our family as finally made it home. At the ripe old age of 95 (and 18 days) she was finally able to find the peace she had been searching for.

My grandmother has always been an influential figure in my life. I can hardly put into words the kind of person she was. She had such a kind and gentle soul. She never spoke unkindly about anyone. She was ever so humble and thoughtful. She was the leader of our family, our source of inspiration of faith and love. And she was as sharp as a tack until the day she died, and lived alone without assistance until a few months before her death. I want this post to be a way I can remember and memorialize the woman I loved so dearly!

When we would venture up to St Louis which was between 3 and 6 times a year my top priority was visiting grandma. If the time frame would allow it I would visit as much as possible each trip. I enjoyed listening to her talk. We could sit there for hours just talking. She would catch me up on all the family who was where doing whatever. She was the center of the family!

I have known for, well, forever that she was going to eventually die. Its just a fact of life you live and you die.  But it was strange when it became closer to the end, my brain could not understand what was happening, I couldnt imagine going to St Louis and not seeing her. I knew it was going to happen, but I learned that you can never be prepared for someone so close to you to die. It has been quite an experience not only for myself but for my family as well. When I say family I mean my brothers, sister, and parents, as well as my own little family, but also my entire extended family.

Back in August or September of last year my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She required surgery and hospitalization as well as extensive therapy afterwards. She took it much like she has everything in her life, just an obstacle she has to overcome. And she did! She got through therapy and was able to move back home. She spent her last Christmas surrounded by family in her own apartment, living (for the most part) on her own, with the help of nurses who would come and go, I believe 24 hours a day. Sadly I was not able to spend this precious time with her or the family. Then in January she fell again which landed her back in the hospital where more tests were run and they found cancer, colon cancer to be exact. My grandmother made her decision LONG ago that she did not want medical intervention when the time came for her. In fact, I clearly remember finding her letters stating this scattered throughout her house. I questioned her about them and even attempted to get rid of them a time or too. I didn't like the idea of my grandmother just "giving up". I was young and naïve, and looking back I see the reasoning behind her wishes. But it was hard at a young age to accept her wishes. I was shocked to hear that she agreed to the radiation treatment for her cancer, which by the way doctors had determined had been there for YEARS. So she underwent 2 rounds of radiation just days before her 95th birthday. After speaking with my cousin I learned some of the things she said to him prior to her treatment. My cousin was trying to calm her fears about the treatment when grandma said "I just don't know how they are going to radiate my butt?" my cousin said "well grandma I'm sure they've done it many times before and have figured out the best way." grandma said "I don't know what the treatment will entail" then she laughed and said "I didn't mean that, enTAIL!" she always had a sense of humor! Then my cousin said "grandma I want to make a deal with you. You pray for me while you are up in heaven and I will pray for you while I am down here." grandma agreed to the plan but told him "first I have to ask God a few questions." curiously my cousin asked what her questions could possibly be. My grandma said "I want to ask him what took so long and if he forgot about me!" my cousin chuckled and ensured her that God had a plan for her and there was NO WAY he could have forgotten about her. They went on to discuss what His plan could possibly be.

A few weeks ago my grandmother turned 95 on groundhogs day. I wanted to make the trip to see her for her BIG day, but I knew I couldn't do it alone. So my mom drove up with me and my dad went up a day early in his car and we were able to spend her birthday with her in the hospital. It was a special time, I got to talk with grandma, introduce her to her newest great grand daughter, and listen to what she had to say, and she had a lot to say! What I loved most was seeing how proud she was of Brynlee, she was introducing her to every nurse who came in, and telling them about Kaylee and Ainslee too, it was so sweet. Once again I learned one reason God gave me Brynlee, she has been a source of healing for my heart on more than one occasion. Grandma also told me her fears and the thing that stuck out in my mind was when she said "95 is too old, no one should HAVE to live that long." I didn't want her to have any regrets or fears. I wanted her to be at peace. Even though our trip was short (a mere 35 hours from leaving my moms driveway and arriving in ours), I was EVER so thankful to have spent that special day with my grandma. I was so thankful for all who made the trip possible too, my mom who rode with us in the car and my friend Lindley who not only offered up her house but also kept the big girls for me so I could go to the hospital by myself with out the distractions.

This past weekend we were scheduled to go BACK to St Louis for my mom's side family reunion. Instead of spending the majority of the time with that side of the family it ended up that we were able to spend it all with grandma and my dad's side. We were up at my grandma's nursing home (where she went after being discharged from the hospital) for a total of around 15 hours this weekend. And all three girls were there the entire time with us. At first I thought this would be an impossible feat, and when it was over and I looked back on how long we were actually there I couldnt believe it was that long. The girls were AMAZINGLY well behaved while we were there for hours at a time. I would get to sit by my grandmother's bedside and hold her hand and talk with her. Or when she was sleeping my family and I would sit in her room and just talk. It was so therapeutic and healing for my soul. There were MANY tears shed and stories told and it was an awesome experience. The adults took turns taking care of the SIX little girls (there were 6 girls under six all 2nd cousins once removed).

Grandma wasnt awake for much of the weekend but when she was awake, the memories that were made will stay with me for forever! After a very busy Saturday where there were lots of visitors grandma said to one of her children "please no more parties." Im sure she knew we were all there, and I cant imagine the feeling of knowing you have visitors but not being able to actually visit. I couldnt help but notice that our family was practically the only visitors in the nursing home, most of the people sat in their rooms by themselves, and I remember thinking how strong our family is and how we all wanted to be there for grandma, and the reason was because she made us that way! She was so special, and she brought us all together. With family around her until the moment she died, sometimes there were 15+ people there just to visit her! I just know she left this world understanding just how much she was loved!

Also, on Saturday my dad and his siblings were sitting around the room talking about recipes while my grandmother slept. One of my uncles starting telling this new pork chop recipe when my grandma woke up and started reciting a family pork chop recipe as clear as day. My aunt and uncles were amazed, it was like she was participating in the conversation too. Also, Saturday holds one of the most special moments I have ever shared with my grandma, I was telling her goodbye before I was leaving to go to the family reunion. I went over to her, kissed her forehead, grabbed her hand, and said "goodbye grandma, I will be back tomorrow." She opened her eyes, looked straight at me and said "NO! I want Michele and Marcus." She asked for us by name and wanted us to stay by her bedside. I broke down crying and sat there holding her hand. She would open her eyes every now and then and just look at me. She spoke some asking me quesitons and telling me things. I was so very emotional I dont remember a whole lot of what was said. I do remember her asking in fact begging me "Michele please please please take me home!" I knew what she meant, and I just wept, i wanted her pain to go away. And in that moment I realized that any moment could be her last, and I became fearful. I didnt want to leave her side but I was scared if the time came that I would be the one holding her hand, I didnt think my heart could handle that. So Marcus and i sat by her bedside just being with her. I have never had a feeling like that. While we were sitting there the girls would come and go. Kaylee was very concerned by my emotional state. She was hugging me, bringing me tissues, and rubbing my back. She spoke so softly and you could see the compassion pouring from her eyes. Then she turned to me and asked "can I hold great grandma's hand too?"

And she did, she sat there and rubbed her hand and talked to her. Grandma would open her eyes and look at her too. Kaylee grew up a LOT this past weekend. She showed wisdom and compassion well beyond her years. I would sit and watch her as she tried to figure out what exaclty was happening. I tried to talk with her in the best way I knew how. And she knew, she knew that something wasnt right, she knew that I needed her to behave, she knew that I needed to grieve, she knew that I needed to spend that time with my grandma even if it meant that I didnt pay much (if any) attention to her. And i am so thankful for my big girl, and I hope that one day she will understand what happened and how happy she made her mommy in a time of sadness.  Then when Ainslee said "mommy that's not the same great grandma." That was the final straw for me. I had to leave the room for a few minutes to regroup myself.

I cant even begin to document all that went on this weekend, but I hope that those memories live in my heart until the day I go to meet my grandma again. There are so many memories that have come flooding back in the days since her death and through my tears I have tried to share these memories with the girls, who sit there staring at me while I tell my stories. What I remember most are the Easter breaks we spent at her house, hiding/hunting eggs in her yard. I remember at Christmas time I would always put on a performance singing Away in a Manger and actually when I visited grandma in the hospital for her birthday she recalled such memories and actually sang the song to me! I remember playing pool on her bumper pool table in her basement as well as putting giant 1000 piece puzzles together down there. The kind that whoever was visiting would just help assemble and it took months of visitors to complete. I remember her telling me the story of her reading a book about electricity and then completely wiring her entire attic of her house (and finishing it) because they needed more bedrooms.  I remember the smell of her hosue, I remember exactly what it looked like, I remember thinking how in the world did she raise 5 children in such a small house with only ONE bathroom! I remember watching her care for my grandpa for YEARS when he was bedridden. She did it all by herself! I remember her bird "Buddy" she would let him fly around the house, and he could talk and I remember him saying "Damn it!" because my grandpa would always say that.  I remember Thanksgiving meals at my grandma's table, we put ALL the leaves in to make it extra long, and it stuck out into the living room. We would all sit around and eat and talk and enjoy each other's company. Only now is when I realize how special these times were.  I remember recieving a Cardnial's baseball schedule in the mail along with a little letter from her EVERY Spring. I am going to miss those letters from her! I remember that the last trip she took was to attend our wedding. I felt special knowing how much effort went in to having her attend our special day. I remember the nights I got to spend at her house, i remember her always having my favorite foods waiting for me. These are just a handful of the memories that I hold deep deep in my heart.

My grandmother was a wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister, aunt, great aunt, cousin, neighbor, and friend to many. She left behind all 5 of her children, 10 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren and went to join her beloved husband after being separated for 20 years.

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Here are some pictures of our family at past family reunions. Oooh how she will be missed dearly at them, especially this year!

 This is my grandmother with her 5 children

notice the big "grizzly adam" looking one in the back?

He was one of the 1st to greet the girls and I when we went to visit grandma this weekend. I just knew Ainslee would be terrified of him, like she is of all my friends husbands. But to my surprise she went right with him from the very first moment she met him. She even sang and danced for him, and didnt show any signs of shyness. It blew my mind away how comfortable she was with all of my uncles!

Here is my grandma meeting each of my girls for the 1st time....

March 2007 - Kaylee

Summer 2007 - Kaylee at family reunion (2nd meeting)

Summer 2009 - Ainslee

Please ignore my naked baby, it was HOT! And the black eye on Kaylee was from running into a 2nd cousin while playing. This picture makes me look like a horrible mom!

February 2012 - Brynlee

Here is my Dad with his beloved mother

Me and grandma



My mom, sister, Aunt, grandma, me, and Kaylee

Grandma's apartment March 2009

Like my mom said

"she taught us how to live"

and I am a better person because of her!

Changes in Attitudes - Kindness Day

In many ways I know that i am doing this whole "mommy thing" great!  But there is one way that I have been failing them, Failing with a CAPITAL F! We dont speak kindly in our house. We talk too loud, on most occasions we dont ask we take, we lie, we talk back to adults, we take advantage of situations (in the wrong way), we dont respect each other, and most of all we just speak ugly. And I have had enough! I have wanted to do something about this for a LoooooONG time now, but until now it was all talk, no action. Today was that turning point. I have decided  that today is the start of our new attitudes, a new beginning for our family. One that involves a whole lotta KINDNESS!!! And I think respect will soon follow, if we all just start being more kind to one another.

Today we started the morning off slowly, I wasnt expecting much today because I knew Ainslee was starting to get sick. So we took the morning slowly very slow! The girls played nicely while I took longer than normal to get Brynlee down for her nap, they listened to my directions and completed a school game together AND correctly with NO supervision and NO fighting.

And then I broke it to them, I announced that today was kindness day. I told them we were going to start speaking kindly to each other, that we were going to make kindness crowns, and we started reading a book about respect, Im still on the hunt for a good curriculum that helps teach values to preschoolers. I need something on their level, I want something with activities and games and even ideas to help give back to the community. I need it laid out for me, I dont have time to put these lessons together myself, I need the easy way out. So if you know of any good books/curriculum that help teach things like respect, honesty, dedication, fairness, trust, helping, etc please let me know. I did borrow a few books from my parents that we had when we were younger, but I fear they are a bit too advanced for them at this age.

Our day started by me reading a few pages from the RESPECT book I got from my parents, the girls listened, asked questions, and seemed interested. Then Brynlee interrupted us, and I took that opportunity for a stopping point, we will read more tomorrow. Then we proceeded with our school day as usual. I took each an every opportunity to praise them for speaking kindly, and point out to them how they could change what they said to be more kind. I didnt raise my voice one single time today, I didnt get upset or angry by their actions at all, we were able to get a lot accomplished and we worked together. There was a tangible peace surrounding us today and it was nice! I was AMAZED by the results I received! Our morning went so fantastic. There was no complaining, there was no talking back, there was a WHOLE lot of listening, and it was magical!

We made kindness crowns! We cut them out and decorated them with stickers, colors, do a dots, and glitter pens. After they dry we are going to wear them, and wear them proudly! Because we all deserve it.

The part that made me realize I needed to document this whole kindness day came when it was nap time. I got Ainslee down for her nap. Kaylee and I finished up a few things together (I usually let her stay up a little later than Ainslee) we finished her kindness crown, ate cookies we baked this morning, she sorted the laundry and put hers away while I tended to Brynlee. It was magical! Then when it was time for bed, she didnt throw a fit, she didnt jump up and down, she didnt protest, she listened and spoke in a normal tone. When she had something to say she spoke kindly, she asked if she wanted something other than what was being offered. When I laid Brynlee down on her bed so I could go and take Ainslee to the potty, I came back to Kaylee talking to her while she put away her clothes. She was saying things like "Look B I'm putting my pajamas in my pajama drawer." and "now I am putting away my purple shirt." She is so eager to teach Brynlee. It was so sweet. After I put Ainslee back into bed, I came back and found this scene

I can not get over how much love Kaylee has for her little sister. I know that she loves Ainslee too, but the bond I see forming between Kaylee and Brynlee is nothing short of amazing and so incredibly special to watch. I wish I could capture more of the special moments I witness on camera.

check out the admiration in her face



ok so back to my story, I come in and witness that and then inform Kaylee it is bed time. We give kisses, hugs, say goodnight, and that was that. No crying, no arguing, NO FITS! And she went to sleep immediately, which is almost unheard of these days. I was so happy I nearly cried! I realized in that moment I have truly been failing my kids. I thought about all the fights that have ensued, all the tears that have been shed, and all the negativity shared amongst our family and I realized that if we all just make a point to change we can ALL be so much happier!

I couldnt believe how quickly I was able to see changes, and how drastically these changes affected our lives. We are calm, we are nice, we know that our voice will be heard without screaming and without fit throwing, and above all I think we are on the road to RESPECT! I learned that if I speak quieter it is more effective than when I yell. In the past I would say something, it would inevitably be ignored, so I in turn would say it louder and louder until I was angry and annoyed. And it didnt work, my new solution is to lower my voice, get the child's full attention, and speak kindly.  I want to raise our children a certain way and one of the most important things to me is respect, respect for yourself AND respect for others.  Here's to the beginning of the new Martinez family!

Mumbo Jumbo

Have you ever seen that movie The Saint with Val Kilmer?  I have NO idea why I had that part in my head about the "cold fusion mumbo jumbo," I love that movie and I love that part!

I have a bunch of little things I wanted to post about and just thought Id make a rambing bunch of mumbo jumbo and get it all out in one post. So here goes nothing......

The other day I had to call the Ped to give the update on Brynlee's meds. My exact words were "she seems slightly better, but Im not ready to pursue anything further at this time." As in I didnt want to jump right in with an ultrasound or any other tests. The doc was fine with that and urged me to give the meds a few more days. And Im glad I did. She has been better and better each day. It is getting easier and easier to give her the meds. Dont get me wrong, she still HATES taking it, but thankfully it is once a day and I have my side kick (AKA best big sister ever/Kaylee) to help me each morning. She hasnt had any of her ridiculous screaming fits for hours at a time like she was having and she nurses almost without any problems at just about every feeding! So YAY for that!!! Back to the 1st sentence of this paragraph......I had to call the Ped and give that update and after the receptionist took my info about Brynlee she attempted to get off the phone, as she would usually do. i quickly stopped her and asked her if I could go ahead and book my 3 year old for her 3 year checkup. She checked for available appointments and we settled on a day and time. She again tried to get off the phone as she would usually and I stopped her again. I asked her if I needed to book an out-patient appointment for my 5 year old to get her 2nd of her 3 Kindergarten shots. She explained that i DID need an appointment and I asked for the same day/time as Ainslee's checkup. We got all of that straightened out and before she attempted to get off the phone a third time I said "I think Im done now, I dont have any other kids that need anything." She laughed and that was that. I love killing two birds with one stone!

Besides those appointments we have 2 dentist appointments (myself and Ainslee) in the coming weeks, and before you know it Brynlee will have another checkup appointment. i cant wait to see how much weight she has gained, she is a little fatty! And Kaylee will be due for her 3rd round of Kindergarten shots. I guess the more kids you have the more time you spend at the doctors.

Now I have to say (for my own record) and I hope I dont jinx anything, but my baby has started to extend her sleeping at night. Just when I am about to become completely exhausted with the every 3-4 hour schedule at night, she ups it to a minimum of 5 hours between feedings. And I couldnt be more thankful! Not only that, but she has given up pooping at night, which makes diaper changes SOOOO much easier when you are completely delirious. Oh and on top of all that she has gained complete control during diaper changes and no longer poos or pees in the middle of a change. Yippee Skippee!
We started a new project today for Ainslee's upcoming birthday. I got a crazy idea to make a pinata for her birthday. I decided on Minnie Mouse. FYI I didnt even give the child a choice I figured it was going to be the easiest to make, and she LOVES Minnie so I went with it. We gathered our materials**, watched a couple YouTube videos as part of our research/prep and got to work. MAN was it MESSY! I had NO idea how messy of a project it was going to be! I decided that it is going to have to be a project we complete only when there is another adult around to help, because I cant grow any extra arms, and if i am needed it takes a good while to get cleaned up before I am able to tend to the children. Today we successfully got our 1st layer on, and the videos we watched and the things I read said you need a minimum of 3 layers. I am SO glad I started early! Oh and after about 8 seconds into the project Ainslee decided it was ENTIRELY too messy of a project for her to participate in so she enjoyed watching from the sidelines. She got really good at telling us which parts needed more newspapers. And now her Minnie Mouse is drying in the bathroom and will most likely receive her second coat tomorrow when my friend Bethany and her daughters come over to play. She will be in charge of the little ones and taking pictures, while I am elbow deep in the flour/water mixture dipping endless pieces of newpapers with the big girls. OH the joys of homeschooling and projects.

I have to tell you something that happened the other day that brought a tear to my eye. I have mentioned before how Kaylee is like the all time most stellar big sister ever......well just the other mmornng Brynlee was having a rough time. She was inconsolable, wanted to go down for a nap but wanted me to HOLD her during said nap. I have entirely too much to do during the day to hold her for naps. So this meant the crying ensued. Id get her settled, put her down, and she would cry. Finally Kaylee said "Mommy just give her to me!" as she climbed onto the couch. I handed a screaming crying baby to my 5 year old and within 45 seconds Kaylee had her settled. I continued to do what I was doing in the kitchen (with a clear view of them) and I hear Kaylee start to talk to Bryn about all the things they are giong to do when she gets bigger. Kaylee said "you can take baths with me and AZ, I can teach you how to ride a 2 wheeled bike (this is a skill Kaylee hasnt even mastered yet), I can show you how to do the monkey dance (like on Dora), you can wear my clothes when I get too big," etc. I cant even remember all the things Kaylee was telling her she was going to get to do. Meanwhile I am nearly in tears trying to figure out if i should get the camera or try to soak in the moment and remember all that was said and exactly how it happened. All I know was I was frozen, I couldnt move to get the camera as one tear ran down my face I stood there SO thankful for that moment. There are so many times throughout the day that I think to myself I couldnt make it without Kaylee. So then that night as I put Kaylee to bed it was time to nurse Brynlee. I had put her off too long as I was trying to get the big girls down. As I walked out of Kaylee's room, and Brynlee is crying out in starvation (clearly she is starving to death, if you havent seen her cheeks lately it looks as if she has 2 baseballs in her mouth!) Kaylee says "its ok Bryn I will hold you again in the morning." Again I nearly lost it!

While on the subject of the 5 year old I have to tell you how ridiculously proud i am when it comes to school too. We have had some AWESOME school days lately. She is grasping the concepts and loving her work. She is so proud of what she accomplishes and I think everyday that if she was in school I would miss all of those "light bulb" moments. I would miss getting to see the joy in her face. I am SO glad we chose this route, even though it seems impossible at times. Anyways, so my sister got her this game for her birthday. Basically she has to finish a 3 letter word by filling in a blank. We played the 1st time cooperatively. She would say the letter sounds and I would basically blend the sounds until she figured out the word. By the second time we played she was blending the sounds by herself and reading the words. I was amazed! Now she got ANOTHER game from a friend and she gets to spell words with the tiles by herself. Today she wanted 3 skittles I had laying on the counter. So I told her if she spelled 5 words she could have the skittles. She spelled RED, TOP, BIB, BUG, and MAP all by herself. On top of that we are working on color sight words that she is "reading".  Can you tell I am proud of my girl? I know many of you reading have genius children who also do amazing things some (no most) at younger ages than Kaylee. Kids they amaze me at what they can do!



**all we needed was a balloon (already had), cardboard (due to my obsession with shoppiong online we have an abundance), newspapers (donated by a friend of my moms), flour (I had 3/4 c left that expired over a year ago in my pantry, but borrowed the rest from my mom. I just cant bring myself to buy that poison, and my dad keeps ridiculous amounts of stuff like that anyways), and paint (already have that too). So far I havent spent a thing on this project and besides the mess, this paper mache thing is going to be a great project. Not only is it super cheap to make it is fun and has more than one skill involved. After we get all the newspaper on we are going to paint it to look like Minnie. I am super excited about this project and cant wait to see how it turns out. I am, however, a bit nervous to see how Ainslee feels about the smashing of Minnie when the time comes. Maybe the candy she gets in return will ease the pain!

Balloons and Heaven

I have to tell you a sweet, but sad, story that happened the other day. We went to gymnastics and then ran some errands, I was too lazy to pack the girls a lunch to eat while we were in town (I only packed my own), so I had to splurge and get them lunch out. I decided to really splurge and get them Chic-fil-A. Not that Chic-fil-A costs a lot, but we NEVER eat fast food! I figured they always ask to go play on the playground, and I always say no (mostly because of the germ infestation that I can only imagine is in those places). So off we went to Chic-fil-A, they were SO happy, and SOOOO surprised! They ate there lunch and then played with the other children on the playground. This was Ainslee's first time actually playing on one of those, before that day she was scared to go up to the top even with help. As we were leaving the girls spotted the balloons they were giving away, so each of them snagged one. Kaylee was sure to explain to Ainslee how she had to hold on tight, and if she didnt her balloon would "go up up UP very HIGH!" Both girls held their balloons and successfully made it to the car and into my moms house for nap. After nap we loaded up, balloons and all, and headed into town for allergy shots. When we got to the doctors' office, Ainslee carefully pushed her balloon back into the car before I got her out, but her foot got stuck on the string and as I lowered her out of the car the balloon escaped! I tried to grab it, but there was nothing I could do.  I quickly thought of something to say as Ainslee watched helplessly. The first thing that came to mind was "Ainslee that was so SWEET of you to give your balloon to the children in Heaven!" Well that little statement opened up a great big can of worms, that began a discussion lasting 2 days (and counting)! While Ainslee had one single solitary tear running down her face, I attempted to explain to her that there are children up in Heaven that will be very happy to play with her balloon, and it was SO KIND of her to share with the children in Heaven. The girls asked all about Heaven "Where is Heaven?" "Why are the children in Heaven?" "Do the children get to go home after going to Heaven?" "Is Heaven in the clouds?" "Is Jesus and God in Heaven?" etc! How do you explain to a 2 and 4 year old about Heaven? I hadnt prepared myself for these types of questions. I told the girls that Heaven was up in the clouds and everywhere, and that once you go to Heaven you cant go back home. Ainslee obviously listened to the 1st part of that explanation while Kaylee listened to the 2nd part. Ainslee thought about where Heaven was for a few minutes and later said to me "Mommy when we go to Washington on the airplane, I will look for my balloon in the clouds!" I was shocked and amazed at her train of thought and ability to express herself. She knows that airplanes go up in the clouds and she thinks that when we go up there she will be able to get her balloon back. She nearly made me cry (darn pregnancy hormones!). And all Kaylee was thinking about was how she NEVER wanted to go to Heaven because I said that after you go there you dont go back home. This made her really upset and she was confident that she was NOT going there!

Since the balloon incident we have been discussing Heaven A LOT, as well as telling EVERYONE about losing the balloon. It didnt help that every 5 seconds Kaylee rubbed it in that she STILL had her balloon. side note: if it would have been Kaylee that lost her balloon Ainslee would have most likely given her balloon to her sister after seeing how sad she was, but not Kaylee!  Ainslee told my friend K about the balloon at least 3 times. K has decided that when we get to Washington, there is going to be a GIANT orange balloon waiting for her. She is going to tell Ainslee how all the children up in Heaven blew it up bigger and sent it back down for her. K was heartbroken from hearing how upset Ainslee is about her balloon.

Im not sure if I said the right things, or explained it the correct way, but it seemed to work and sink in. The girls responded well. Hope I havent damaged them for life!

Acorns

Yesterday we (the girls and I) got the idea of collecting acorns that had fallen from our little Pin Oak tree and finding a craft/activity to do with them. We got sidetracked by our paint activity and some "not so great behavior" and never got around to it yesterday. So today was the perfect alternative. I sent the girls outside with a cup and told them to hunt for acorns. They both were able to fill their cups in a matter of minutes. And the excitement each time they spotted one was priceless. "I found ANOTHER one!" "my cup is almost full!" "LOOK here's 2 right next to each other!"

Here is their loot

And the supplies to open them. I sent them upstairs to find the "toy" tools that matched my real tools. We tried to guess which tools would work best at opening the acorns. They got to try with the toy tools first then I handled the real tools and actually opened the acorns.

Ainslee tried the pliers first

Then Kaylee gave it a try. They both enjoyed chasing after the acorns as they flew across the room, that was quite funny to watch.


Then they tried the hammer

The concentration was hilarious

Kaylee had the right idea trying to hold the acorn, she had pretty good hand eye coordination, and didnt hit her fingers

When they were finished trying on their own, I opened them with the real tools. Here Ainslee's has a crack in it and she is trying to pry it open.

Kaylee got hers open quickly and was very proud of what she found.

They both wanted to eat the nuts, but we threw them out in the grass to "feed" the squirrels and birds

Before we cracked them open we counted them, made shapes/numbers/letters with them (on the floor), and I even spelled their names with them. All the while I was trying to come up with some sort of craft we could use them for.

ATTENTION all you creative mommy's out there

send me some ideas of fun crafty things we can do with these little gems. Preferably something that the kids can do most of the work. I found a few ideas online, but most include a hot glue gun. I would prefer that they actually get to participate and avoid burns. Im considering letting them paint them orange and then letting them draw faces on them to make tiny jack-o-lanterns. But we dont need 50+ tiny jack-o-lanterns. I need more ideas people!

Fall Paintings

I've been meaning to take more advantage of the beautiful weather outside (while it lasts). I keep telling myself "plan outdoor activities, make lessons that pertain to outside." But in my laziness I have neglected doing so, until today. Painting outside has been on my "to do" list so i thought we would start there. We gathered up supplies, I had to make brown paint by mixing other colors. This was quite funny, because when we make our smoothies every morning the most basic one we do has strawberries and spinach with a few other things too. Our smoothie comes out almost everytime looking like dirt. So when I asked the girls what colors I needed to make brown Ainslee quickly answered "brown like dirt mommy!" I said yes, remember our smoothies are brown, what colors do we put in them? They both immediately said "GREEN AND RED!" So thats where we started. I added a little bit of white and a touch of yellow as well.

I decided since we were painting outside I didnt want them to use the regular brushes and things, so we gathered up "fall" things from the yard, as well as some kitchen utensils and we went to town.

Here are the supplies we gathered

2 girls ready to paint, dont ask me why Kaylee has that look on her face
our supplies from inside, including brown, yellow and orange paint

I showed the girls how to make a stamp out of a leaf

Kaylee preferred the kitchen utensils, while Ainslee enjoyed using the things we collected outside

trying to make her own leaf stamp

adding all the colors

pushing it down

"look what I made mommy"

but then she got a bit upset at the tiniest bit of paint on her fingers, i ignored it and she seemed to be ok for a few minutes. I think the messiness was why she wanted to stop painting so quickly. She was ready to come in and wash her hands

painting with pine needles

Overall, it was a super fun activity that they both enjoyed. We ended up doing 2 sheets of paper, the second one just turned into a big blob of mixed up paint. I wonder when they are going to figure out the whole "art" thing. They would rather just paint in one spot until they make a hole in the paper. Oh well, at least they enjoyed themselves.

Ainslee - food, belly, dancing

I have to share some funny things my little 2 1/2 year old does. I completely realize that it probably won't seem that funny to you as you are not her doting parent and you haven't seen such occurances first hand. But I am going to go ahead and share with you mostly for documentation purposes.


As you all know my girls just LOVE to eat! Always have and I'm sure always will! Their love of food is so fun to watch ???

When ainslee eats or chews her food, she dances. When she thinks she is going to get food she breaks out in dance. It is so freaking hilarious, she gets so excited and "into" her food that she doesn't even realize she is busting a move.  Food makes her happy!

Now you know when she really doesn't like a certain food, because she is capable or holding a bite in her cheek for over an hour, to avoid having to swallow it! I know this because she has done shown us on multiple occassions!

My most favorite thing she does in regards to food is when she is hungry she will walk into the kitchen lift up her shirt (if she is even wearing one) and rub her belly. Like its a little budda belly. Like she has to massage it before she fills it up. It is so freaking hilarious!

The other day when I was getting her out of her crib in the morning she greeted me with the same words I'm greeted with EVERY TIME I get her out "eat momma, hung-gee!" We started talking about what was for breakfast this particular morning and I said something like "you gotta fill that giant belly of yours." She lifted up her shirt and said "I no have giant belly momma, SEE!"
 
I love that little monster!

Days fly by

I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that keeps up with it, but have any of you noticed I have less than 100days left to carry this heathen inside!?! I was meaning to write a post on my 100 day mark, but that obviously didnt happen.  I can't even tell you how the time has flown by! You know when you are a child waiting and waiting for Christmas, your birthday or summer to arrive each year? And each year it seems as though you had to wait YEARS inbetween each "holiday/event"! Now it seems as though there are merely days inbetween holidays and no time to prepare mentally or physically for them. Where does the time go? And why all of a sudden is it moving at mach speed?

I can't believe in 91 short days (give or take a few) I will be holding this little one instead of feeling his/her kicks from the inside. I can't believe we will have THREE children! I can't believe we will be moving Kaylee to the "back" of the car full time! I can't believe I will get to experience nursing all over again, which I LOVE, but not so much the lack of sleep that comes with it. I can't believe I am preparing the upstairs room for my soon-to-be FIVE year old to move up there! But most of all I can't believe that in a few short months marcus and I will be outnumbered!


Yesterday I had my glucose test and I am just hoping that I pass, because I certainly don't want to experience that 3 hour test again and I definitely don't want to alter my diet anymore than it already is!

Based on averages and a chart I found my baby is about 14 1/2 inches long and weighs nearly 2 lbs already! Amazing! I would love to have another ultrasound to get to see him/her again! But am too scared we will see the sex and we really don't want to know, however I still think it is another girl! I do know, if he is a boy he will remain nameless as I can not come up with any boy names that I LOVE!

Oh and Kaylee felt the baby kick for the 1st time today, she was so excited, and she told me very confidently that she has been "practicing" and she no longer needs a boppy to help her hold babies, so when the baby comes out, she can hold her all by herself. She even claims to know how to hold the baby while she is walking, which is an absolute NO NO in my book! I guess I can let her dream though!

Cosmic Coconut and Cleanse

A grade school friend of mine just opened an Organic (Vegan) Juice Bar and Cafe called Cosmic Coconut. I have been dying to get in there and try it out. I am not wanting to go all vegan or anything but I have been trying to figure out how to develop more healthy eating habits. I would like to throw in a meatless Monday or a fish Friday (or both) to our weekly routine, but I know the chances of our family going too crazy with food is out of the question.

On the way to get our weekly allergy shots last week, I told the girls we were going to stop at a special place first. After a little prodding from them, I told the girls that we were going to go get "healthy drinks." I had looked on the website a little bit to narrow down my choices, but I was still really unsure about which drinks to order. My main goal was to get the girls something with veggies in it, so i wanted to stay away from a FRUIT smoothie. I can make them fruit smoothies at home, and i do pretty regularly. I wanted some added nutrients, foods that they dont usually eat. So I went with a "Peace Love Pear" smoothie for me, which I was obviously prepared to share. And i got them a "Star Student" juice (reccommended by an employee). The Star Student is not even listed on their website, but it was celery, sweet potato (supposed to be carrot but they were out of carrots), lemon, and something else that I forgot. It was pretty good, the celery was the dominanting flavor, and if I had to do it over again I would have asked for it served on ice. Kaylee drank most of this one, and when I wasnt looking Ainslee pretty much sucked all mine down. Mine had pears, bananas, chard, and coconut milk. It was really tasty. I am really excited about this place. I dont drink coffee, or spend money on stuff like that, but i can totally see myself making this a regular weekly stop. I felt so full and satisfied after drinking those drinks too, never once did it make me feel sick. I was really scared about that because of how nauseous I have been lately, but it actually made me feel MUCH better. Plus I felt good mentally because I was getting good food into my body. I know that I am eating enough, but I feel like I could be eating better at this stage in my pregnancy, its just the nausea that holds me back. I plan on incorporating these types of drinks/juices into our everyday routine too. I cant wait to try other ones. Oh and I have to tell you what Ainslee said when we walked in.......the lady asked us what she could get for us and Ainslee responded "healfy drink please." I just laughed!

I have been following a strangers blog for probably over a year now. I cant even remember how I stumbled upon her blog, but I love it! And it is so shocking that I love it considering I dont even know her, AND she is totally into fashion, which I am clearly NOT into! Here is her blog if you care to take a look. Anyways so her name is Bethany, and she recently did a 7 day Cleanse, through a friend of hers business. did you follow all that?
As I read each day of her progress with the cleanse I knew that I wanted to do just that! Like I said before I have been wanting to incorporate more healthy eating habits, and I thought "what a better way to get started". The business is called Rooted Wellbeing. I have already spoken with the owner/starter of the business over the phone (a free chat that was offered to Bethany's blog readers). I am very excited about starting the cleanse and learning more about eating healthy. We decided that because of my current state of pregnancy/sickness and our upcoming vacation schedule that it would be best to postpone my cleanse until we get home which will be sometime in the middle of July. So stay tuned and you can read all about my 7 day cleanse. I am so stoked because Katie (owner of the business) is also offering DTWSLD (blog title) readers a 30% discount on the price of the cleanse. So now I have gotten a free phone chat with a health professional and a 30% discount on my cleanse program. I am so excited!

Ainslee's Ramblings (more added)

Ainslee's vocabulary has really picked up over the past couple of weeks. She has had a lot of words, but it just seems like she is putting more together and saying more things hard to explain

Some of my favorites are:

"mm-on" which means, come on, as in follow me i have something to show you

"mere", which means, come here

"jout" which means, watch out, this is personally one of my favorite things she says, I LOVE it when she says it

Or here is a little scenario that happened in the car the other day. Kaylee was playing the iPad when Ainslee looked over and saw something in her mouth. Ainslee said "mommy K mouth chew." i said Kaylee what is in your mouth? She answered by opening her mouth and revealing a piece of paper she was chewing on (BTW this is a problem with her, she chews on random stuff......pica???) So I immediately asked her to take the paper out of her mouth, keep in mind I am driving, she refuses to take the paper out so I pull an Inspector gadget "go-go gadget arm" move and reach back and pull the iPad off her lap, she still refuses to take the paper out of her mouth, and as Im about to pull over she finally takes it out and throws it on the floor (and Marcus wonders why my car looks the way it does!). She gets upset when I give the iPad to Ainslee and continues to throw a huge fit. A few minutes after she was finished with her pity party she asks if she can have the iPad back, before I could get anything out of my mouth Ainslee says "No iPad K gum mouth BOLD!" Ainslee continued playing and Kaylee didnt ask for the iPad again.

She calls her bottom a "boooDEE", and we mess with it just to get her to say the word

Both my children love to be scared. You can jump out and scare them and they laugh and laugh and ask for you to do it again. Yesterday I scared Ainslee with a LOUD roar! and when you ask Ainslee how I scared her she says "rrraaaooorrrr" in the quietest whisper.

Today when we were playing outside she heard an ambulance she said "momma ambula." I said YES Ainslee do you hear the ambulance? She said, with a sad look on her face, "sick momma." As in someone is sick in the ambulance. She is so sweet, thoughtful, caring, and compassionate. If she even thinks someone has gotten hurt she will immediately try and kiss the booboo. But if she cant reach you (like if she is in her car seat) she will just make the kissing sound and say "Okay okay momma?"

I know there are other cute sayings/phrases she has, but I cant think of them at the moment.

My Awesome 2 YEAR OLD!

EXACTLY 2 Years ago today I was lying in a hospital bed waiting (but not for too long) for Ainslee to arrive. We didn't know if she was a boy or a girl, and how fitting cause apparently the public still doesn't know if she is a boy or a girl. I was SHOCKED when I was told she was a girl! I am even more shocked by the way she has changed my life. She is such a joy to have around, she is such a lovable, fun, happy, funny, sweet, energetic, and most of all EASY baby! Not a day goes by that she doesn't surprise me, she makes me smile and makes me a better person. I am sure I have aided in the fact that she is such a momma's girl, but I still love it! I love that she wants me (instead of daddy or anyone else) and cuddles with me all the time!

(above pictures were all taken at Ainslee's birthday dinner with Marcus' mom and sister, and family friend)

I searched and searched for a website that had a Happy Birthday Ainslee song (like I found for Kaylee) but I came up empty handed. So I decided to list a few of her recent accomplishments and newest behaviors.

Her favorite words are "self" and "own". As in "I want to do it myself" and “I want my own”. These words get used frequently throughout the day. Most of the things she is actually able to do by herself, but when this next particular situation began unfolding I was a bit skeptical. She announced that she had to go to the bathroom, so off she ran while I trailed behind her. She immediately pushed the stool over to the front of the toilet and pulled down her pants, that's when I came to her "assistance" like I always do, to put her on the potty. She looked up at me and said "self, self". She then proceeded to push me out the door saying "out out momma, SELF". I was crushed, she didn't want my help, but she NEEDED my help. So I stood there outside the bathroom door watching as she climbed up on the stool with her pants around her ankles. She tried to figure out the best way to actually get onto the potty, her way didn't quite work out so I stepped in to assist (and i am confident she was ok with that since she was basically stuck). So now almost every time she has to go to the bathroom she wants to do it by herself, that makes me kinda sad.

She was determined to make her last meal as a baby 1 year old a big one. Last night, unlike the past 3 nights when she had about 3 bites for dinner, she ate 2 HUGE plates of food, 2 bowls of applesauce, and dessert. She probably would've eaten more had I offered it to her. I'm telling you this kid must be going through some sort of growth spurt because she can put away more food than me most days, I swear she has a tapeworm!

She decided to be the first to rise on her birthday. She wanted to enjoy EVERY bit of her special day! She woke up a good hour before her usual time, but I was happy to spend some cuddle time with her in my bed before we started the day.

She is able to put together all the puzzles we own. She LOVES puzzles!

She knows at least 25 body parts

She has her favorite books that she asks to read nearly every night before bed, and she has memorized them!

She still is very attached to her mana (blanket)

She loves and admires her big sister! While I am usually 1st on her list, sister is a close 2nd, Ainslee is very concerned when they are separated.

She loves watching TV and probably wishes I let her watch more often, Dora and Curious George are all she watches. Although I have saved the Oprah when Sugarland was on and she LOVES watching them sing "All I want to do". She usually sits on the couch and dances/moves around while watching intently. I don't think she even blinks throughout the entire song.

She does the "we did it dance" after each Dora and it is super cute

She still goes to bed about 6 every night, some nights it is a little later depending on our schedule. And she still wakes up after 8 nearly every morning (except on her birthday) I'm not even alarmed anymore if she sleeps past 9.

She eats a RIDICULOUSLY large breakfast EVERY morning. Actually she eats solid for about the first 2 hours she is awake. When I say ridiculously I mean ridiculously! She puts away more food in the morning than most children eat in 3 days. Like this morning.....she had her usual bowl of oatmeal which is 1/2 cup dry oatmeal (when cooked is more like 1 cup) with 1/2 cup mixed berries mixed in (because I don't add sugar to their food, the berries are a good way to sweeten in up). Then she had 2 decent sized bowls of cereal, a glass of OJ with prune juice mixed in, and a clementine. This was all before she even wanted to get down from the highchair. About 30 minutes later she was asking for more food! My dad says he is going to start charging me when she comes to his house because all she does is eat all their food!

She loves putting on chap stick and Aunt Mary has given both of them a 6 tube chap stick set that gets applied about 4 times a day. She says "Yip Yip" when she wants some more

She had her 2 year check up and she is 34 inches tall (58th percentile) and 28.6 lbs (73rd percentile). So basically she is short and fat. HA! just kidding, she is perfectly proportional, unlike her giant big sister who was always off the charts in every category.

When the doc asked me if she had at least 50 words in her vocabulary I stopped and thought for a second "man 50 is a lot, does she have 50 words? I have been a bit worried about her speech. She does vocalize a lot, but does she have 50 words. Are there 50 words that anyone besides me understands?" I told the doc I thought she did have 50 words and that evening we were at my parents house for dinner. As my mom, sister, and I were preparing the table I nonchalantly asked them "Hey how many words do you guys think Ainslee has in her vocabulary?" They both stopped, thought, and looked at me like "crap I don't want to say the wrong thing, I wonder what the answer she is looking for is." Then I explained why I was asking them and was wondering if she really DID have 50 words in her vocabulary. Mary looked at me like I was crazy and said "Michele she says 50 FOOD words, that's not even counting all the other words she says!" Then it hit me, she TOTALLY has 50 words, she has WAY more than 50 words, and they are getting clearer and clearer as each day goes by.

She has cut teeth number 13, 14, and 15 in the last week.

She is NOT a fan of the snow. As in could not care any less about any snow experience at all!

She is still rear facing in the car, and I have no intention of turning her around. She likes it that way and she is safer too......win/win for everyone

Anytime she wants something to eat she says "bowl bowl," for us to put said food in bowl that she gets out of the drawer by herself

Her kisses are the sweetest thing you can find ANYWHERE around! If you dont pucker up and make the smack sound she puts both hands on the sides of your face and pulls you in. She kisses until you kiss back. And she isnt stingy at all with her kisses!

She can be very shy and she definitely is NOT a performer. When I ask her to show daddy her lastest accomplishments she almost never does.

She counts to 5 and is very proud of herself

I am sure there are more that I am leaving out, but this post is mighty lengthy already.

(pictures taken below are from her combo birthday celebration with my dad whose birthday is the 15th)

Big Girl eating her own bowl of YoLo for her birthday dessert

Thank you daddy for my YoLo

She even shared hers with Kaylee