Powerseller

I am a POWERSELLER! YAY for me! Most of you probably have no idea what that means, but it is a good thing! It doesnt mean that my eBaying is going quite as good as I would like it, but it is going. Im in a bit of a rut right now. I have had a few days off from my eBay responsibilities and I am enjoying them. I hope to get back in the swing of things next week.

Wordless Wednesday - 1 year Portraits

warning.....this post is only partially "wordless"

My great friend Bethany came over to take some 1 year pictures of Ainslee and I am more than thrilled with what she was able to capture. She has such a gift!

These are just a few of my favorites......

daddy came in to the room for a little bit to see what was going on, and Ainslee was less than thrilled when daddy had to go to bed. I see another daddy's girl in the making. I just think this shot is so sweet her looking up at him.

This one makes me laugh.....and also think about all the trouble this sweet little angel will be getting into in a few short years.

We used this pose for Kaylee's 1 year portrait and loved it so much that it is one of the ones in our living room. It didnt go quite as planned with Ainslee. She thought it was more fun to hang from mommy and daddy's arms than anything else.

baby booty's are the BEST! this was my favorite shot of the bum and the rolls too

She has been obsessed with her belly button lately (not as obsessed as Kaylee with toe fuzz). I love this shot because it shows how fat she is.....fat babies are so darn cute!

Ainslee was showing Bethany a thing or 2 about how to take good pictures with HER camera

begging for momma to pick her up. this shot captures what I go through on a daily basis. If Ainslee is not IN my arms she is at my feet wanting to be picked up

my little blanket baby. It is crazy how she is so comforted by this little blanket. Once when we were at the doctors office, she became really upset when the doc was about to examine her. I gave her her blanket and even the doc was amazed at how quickly she calmed down and relaxed. she couldnt believe how her heart rate responded when she was given the blanket.

ignore how incredibly WHITE I am compared to my baby.
She cant wait get outside and play

she has big dreams of outside when the weather gets warmer (and those fat cheeks make me smile too)

Panties? What panties?

Yesterday I got home with Kaylee after school and she had to go to the bathroom. I realized that she was not wearing any panties. I asked her "Kaylee where are your panties?" To which she responded "I dont have any." I thought to myself "What do you mean you dont have any" but the words that came out of my mouth were "did you have panites at school today?" To which she replied very matter-of-factly "no i didnt wear them today." I laughed, on the inside, because I didnt want Kaylee to think that it was ok to go to school without her panties.

You see she spent Monday night at my moms house. Amma was responsible for getting her to school Tuesday morning. Apparently she decided to let Kaylee get dressed by herself (without supervising), and Kaylee made the decision to go commando to school.

I texted her teacher to explain the situation so that we could get things cleared up. She replied "We giggled about it today.....figured it was your mom which made it even funnier! It didnt seem to bother Kaylee at all."

So here we have it a 3 year old who likes to go to school without any panties.......FABULOUS!

My Accomplishment

I have hinted towards this post a few times in the recent past, it has been floating around in my head for sometime, but I am finally getting around to put my thoughts to paper (or computer).

Before I can even remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I always knew that I wanted LOTS of kids. I never put an exact number on "lots" but I knew I wanted more than 2 (just so you know, I have NO idea how many we will end up with, but I would sure like to have at least one more). I knew from an early age about breastfeeding, mostly because I watched my mom as she nursed my brother and sister (12 and 9 years younger than me, respectively). I remember learning about child development and the benefits of nursing your babies, and I most remember every chance I got to do more research and learn more about it I took the opportunity. Throughout high school and college, I did paper after paper after project on breastfeeding, and I knew when I became a mom that was something that I would STRIVE to accomplish.

When I got pregnant with Kaylee I read more, and talked to friends of mine who were nursing moms, I sat straight up in our child birth class when the subject of nursing was being presented (that was about the only thing that I listened to in that class). I learned quickly that having a "support" system is probably one of the most important tools to successful breastfeeding. Marcus and I talked before we conceived Kaylee about this topic, and I was thrilled when he was fully onboard with my decision and I knew that he would support me to the best of his ability. I just never knew how much support it would take. And I thank God that my husband is not only supportive and interested and most importantly encouraging in my breast feeding journey.

About 5 seconds after Kaylee was born I was asking the nurses if I could nurse her (like I needed their permission, what was I thinking?). I was thrilled when we were successful! She was such a good little "student," eager to eat, would work with me without getting too frustrated, but thats not to say we didnt have our fair share of bumps in the road. I had some serious pain in the first weeks (i wont get too graphic with the details) but it wasnt the pain that was the most difficult, it was the lack of supply. I struggled the ENTIRE time I nursed Kaylee to keep up with her demands. To this day I'm not sure if it was my rookieness, her high demand, or a combination of both, that caused me to struggle to make enough for her. But I made it! Not quite to my goal of 1 year, but I made it! When Kaylee was 9 months old I had to take an unexpected trip to the ER (when we were out of town) and this was the beginning of the end of my supply. It pained me that she had to be given formula to supplement, because all my extra frozen bottles were at home. But after returning home I fought and fought to regain my supply, looking back I think I could have fought harder. I tried taking supplements, pumping, double pumping, frequent feedings, switch nursing, you name it. But at about 10 1/2 months I had to give in and start supplementing her with formula. I cant remember exactly how much formula she had to be given because I was still mixing it with the frozen bottles i had saved up, but I do remember in that last month and a half before she started cows milk I had to buy about 4 cans of formula......and it killed me! I know there are MANY MANY babies that drink formula and turn out fine, that wasnt it for me, it was that I failed! I set my goal to 1 year and I failed, I couldnt make it the last 6 weeks, i couldnt provide for my baby, and I felt like that was my job, and I failed! I did continue to nurse her as much as I could until there was just nothing left. She was 1 year and 4 days the last time that she successfully nursed (successfully being the key word). She definitely tried to nurse for about 2-3 weeks after i dried up, and that made it even harder.

As we all know, the formula didnt kill Kaylee, and she definitely isnt lacking in the weight/ height department or brains for that matter. I finally got over the fact that I didnt reach my goal. But I knew that I would be more determined my second time around. Armed with more knowledge and experience I was very eager to succeed!

When I got pregnant with Ainslee I began more researching. I read for hours about milk supply and how to increase it naturally, and reasons for low supply, and I learned something VERY interesting. My milk supply problems were most likely linked to a disorder i was diagnosed with prior to even becoming pregnant, and I never knew that low supply could be a side effect. But now armed with THAT knowledge, I set out on a mission that I wasnt going to fail at.

About 5 seconds after Ainslee "fell out" I began nursing her (without asking for permission). We didnt have quite as a smooth start as Kaylee and I just 2 years earlier. But after LOTS of help from the lactation department, and then unending support from my husband, we FINALLY got it! We were a team! She knew me and I knew her, we worked together and it worked for us! Now we had our share of set backs too. Low supply being one of them, but this time I was prepared! And the fact that she wasnt as demanding as Kaylee really really helped. I mean, she is over 1 year old, in the 95th percentile for weight, and STILL hasnt taken a bottle more than 6 ounces. My milk sure is some fattening stuff!

Here we are at 1 year and 11 days and I am still nursing her! She has NEVER had an ounce of formula and hasnt had a bottle of cow's milk yet either. My new plan is to have her weaned from bottles before she ever experiences cow's milk. I am currently in the process of trying to use up the 30+ bottles that I have frozen, so our new schedule is fitting us quite nicely. She gets me 2 or 3 times a day and a bottle once. Yep! That's right, that is all she drinks, I mean there are random days where she will take one more bottle (or nursing), but for the most part she only has the 3-4 milk feedings a day.

My nursing road has had its fair share of bumps too. Have you ever heard the saying "dont cry over spilled milk?" Well I do!!! Especially if it is my breast milk! I lost quite a few ounces to some mistakes by relatives (to be remained nameless), and quite a few more when I would make a bottle too big for Ainslee to drink in one feeding.

I realize that one of the reasons why the journey has been so difficult this go around, despite all my knowledge and preventative measures, is when you have 2 children obviously you are stretched (physically and emotionally) in MANY more directions than you are with just one, so it just makes sense that nursing will be more challenging with your second (and subsequent) child(ren). But I wouldnt have it any other way! I will gladly sacrifice whatever it takes for the opportunity to nurse my babies!

Along the way I have also had my share off doubts regarding my self imposed "goal". After about 6 months of nursing Ainslee I said "man I made it half way, I sure hope I can finish". At 8 months I was counting the weeks I until the finish line. At 9 months I was thanking God for each and every chance I got to nurse! At 10 months I was saying "why don't I allow more people to give her bottles? Why haven't I let her away from me like I did with Kaylee?" At 11 months I was chanting "one more month one more month". At 12 months I was kicking myself (pretty hard) for wishing away these precious moments that will be gone in the blink of an eye. At 12 months and 2 days, technically after I reached my goal of nursing to a year, my husband arranges babysitters for BOTH children on Valentine's Day so he and I can have an evening to ourselves without the worry of what time we had to wake up in the morning, I turned it down. I turned it down because although I have met my goal I am exceeding my goal (and because of the small detail that I am not ready to leave her overnight). I have said from day 1 (actually from like day -73 or something like that), that I would not let my child spend the night away from me until I have finished nursing. So I guess that's just another goal I have for myself, I realize that it isn't THAT big of deal to let her stay the night away, especially considering her current schedule, I would only have to pump once maybe twice depending on the timing, but what if she were to need me. What if she wanted to nurse and wasn't there? I'm just not ready, and I will leave it at that. I'm sure soon enough I will be pawning her off on anyone who is willing to take her, but for now she is mine! And at 12 months and 11 days I am saying "I can't believe this is almost over! I wish I could do this forever!" Not in the nasty, gross, nursing my 8 year old kind of way, but the- I wish I could have this feeling for forever sort of way.

And I am thankful not only for the opportunity to nurse my babies but the ability to do so. I am thankful for all the chances I got to sit with each one of my children as they gazed into my eyes with thankfulness and admiration, as they play with my face, stuck their fingers in my mouth and nose, as they lay so happy and content in my arms, the excitement in their face and eyes when they know they are about to get to nurse, as they lay happily on my shoulder after nursing, and the strong bond I have created with each on of my children. And this accomplishment is one of the things I am most proud of!

I have realized after countless hours of sitting, rocking, and nursing my baby that this is

the single most rewarding thing I have EVER done in my life!

and I hope I get to do it again

OLYMPICS

Have I ever said how much I love the Olympics?


And these Olympics have not disappointed. How fun it is to watch all these athletes as they compete on the world stage, at the top of their game, in a sport that they specialize in, against the BEST in the world.......and we have pretty much dominated! U-S-A! U-S-A!

All I can say is "Thank God"

I am SO glad I am not her Guinea pig anymore.

one day a few weeks ago, when Ainslee went down for a nap Kaylee asked if I would play in her room with her, her "toy of choice" was her baby. Soon after laying eyes on her new baby i learned why she needed my "help". Can you see why?

This is what happened to the poor baby after the last time she played with her.

How did she manage to get all these rollers in this little babies hair?

after literally pulling out ALL of those rollers, she gently brushed her hair (I use the term "gently" very loosely)

sometimes brushing with one hand and pulling her hair with the other, quite an interesting technique

after a little "help" from mommy, this is the finished product

but then i was instructed to put piggy tails in her hair, so me being the nice/ cooperative playmate that I am, I obliged

After this little experience, not only am I glad that she no longer desires to practice on my hair, but I worry for the future of Ainslee's hair too, because I'm sure she will be Kaylee's next victim!

Why??? plus some updates

"mommy why is that light not going off and on?" (she is referring to the light on the top of a service vehicle)
"well, Kaylee, probably because the man turned it off"
"why did he turn it off?"
"because he isnt working now, and he doesnt want the light on"
"why doesnt he want it on?"
"Im not sure"
"why isnt he working now?"
"because he is taking a break"
"why is he taking a break?"
.....i'll spare you the rest of the conversation just because of the mere fact that it practically made my head hurt so I wouldnt want to expose you to the same trauma. But I'm sure you get the point. The why questions are NEVER ENDING!!! And sometimes, I have to be 100% honest, they drive me so far up the wall that I want to put a muzzle on her. (dont get me wrong I would never do that to my child, but that doesnt mean it hasnt crossed my mind). Judge me if you want, but until you experience the barrage of why's please try to refrain.

Here is another example...
"why cant daddy put me night night tonight?"
"daddy has to leave"
"why is daddy leaving?"
"he has to go to work"
"why does he have to go to work?"
"he has to work to make money and make sure that people get their packages in the mail"
"why does he have to make money?"
"so he can buy us food and nice things"
"why does he buy us food?"
"so that we can eat when we are hungry"
"why do we eat when we are hungry?"
-----is your head hurting yet?-----
"so our tummy doesnt hurt"
"why does our tummy hurt when we are hungry?"
"because we need to eat"
it went on like this for a few more rounds
-----fast forward to when Marcus gets home the next morning-----
"daddy did you buy me nice things?"
I had to laugh at that one!

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update in other areas:
Ainslee is still not walking, I dont see that milestone happening for at least a couple of weeks, but then again she has surprised me before.
She is saying more words, including: more (as in, more food), dada, mama, ball (her favorite toy), ugh ugh (thats supposed to be a barking noise, when she sees a dog), and cup. I think that is all her words.
She is still nursing, and I am super proud to say that she has NEVER had a single ounce of formula. I even still have bottles in the freezer. I am planning on making this topic a post of its own hopefully soon.
Kaylee thinks that it is a good idea to start getting out of her bed without permission. Let's just say that we have been butting heads regarding this decision lately, and it hasnt been pretty!
Both girls continue to eat us out of house and home.....literally, our cupboard is bare and so is our freezer!
Ainslee had her 1 year photo shoot with my friend Bethany, who has been photographing her since she was like 4 minutes old! I will be posting some of those pics soon.....so stay tuned cause they are AWESOME!

Random videos

One of the girls' favorite games is Ainslee pushing Kaylee on the bike/ a riding toy/ plasma car/ ANYTHING. Sometimes the pushing turns into Kaylee dragging Ainslee, but they both love every minute of it.

Kaylee climbing at the park in Oakland

Ainslee riding the plasma car

Kaylee riding the scooter

Let me start by saying this video was a bit staged. Whenever Kaylee takes food off Ainslee's tray she grunts and looks to me to help her. I tried to get a good representation of this (in its natural occurance), but for some reason I never have the video camera cued up and ready when it happens.

Kaylee on the rings at gymnastics. Her favorite thing to do lately is spin...thats not exactly what you are supposed to do, but it sure does look like fun!

Girls and Monkeys and Bears OH MY!

Around these here parts, we pretty much have GIRLS, BEARS, and MONKEYS!

This little monkey is sitting on the couch with 3 other monkeys watching a monkey on TV (Curious George). notice the Valentine's boxers on the monkey on the left.....how appropriate.

These little monkeys stole mommas snow peas off the counter and were eating them before I could use them in my recipe.

And this little monkey thinks she is a bear...

My big monkey built this snow woman

and momma monkey buried this monkey in the snow


momma monkey pushed big monkey down the hill in our make-shift sled (a baby pool)

monkey rolling down the hill

oh wait, that was momma monkey. THIS is big monkey rolling down the hill

monkeys LOVE the snow!

She wouldve slept in it if momma monkey wouldve let her

The pup wanted in on some of the action

So we happily obliged

With all this snow lately it has prepared me well for tomorrow. I CANT WAIT for the Olympics to start. I HEART THE OLYMPICS!!! I swear one of my biggest all-time dreams is to go to the Olympics, watching on TV is a close second. So not sure how much blogging I will be doing in the near future, all my free time will be used watching the most elite athletes in the world compete for their dream. So AWESOME!

Tomorrow is not only the beginning of the Winter Olympics it is also, Ainslee's Birthday, I cant believe it! My little monkey/bear is going to be ONE!!! My little Valentine Baby! She warms my heart just thinking about her. She has grown into the sweetest, happy go lucky, content, EASY to deal with child. When I say easy I mean EEEAAASY! It is sort of scary, and makes me a bit nervous for what the future holds, I mean it cant get much better than this! Happy Birthday AZ.....momma loves you more than you will ever know!

Wordless Wednesday

Sorry my blog has sorta taken a backseat, I am one busy momma.....thanks to the nudge from Auntie Crista (who needs her Kaylee and Ainslee photo fixes) here are a few recent pics......more to come soon hopefully

starting to stand up

"Look mommy I can stand up by myself"

I realized after uploading all these pictures and reveiwing my post, that I am in fact a HORRIBLE photographer AND put so many pictures up here that really only family cares to see all of them. So sorry "everyone else" for subjecting you to endless photos of my girls.....but I think they are cute, so thats all that matters!

Confession

I have something I need to confess......
Ive been thinking a lot lately about Hawaii. Sometimes I wish that we wouldve/ couldve gone, but most times I am thankful and so happy that we stayed. Call me selfish, but who wouldnt want to have one of the most beautiful lands as their back yard to play in? I know I would! I have seen many many reminders lately of the island we were once destined for, and honestly it makes my heart skip a beat to think about it. I remember too clearly our house hunting trip (ok when I look back at that time in my blog why did I not post anymore pictures or write anymore about that trip?) and our long talks about "making it work". Whether it be vacation give-aways on Wheel of Fortune, pictures on friends Facebook pages, or anything else it doesnt matter, anything that reminds me of Hawaii makes be sad for a few minutes, until I am jolted back into reality and realize that it would have been tough and I mean "I dont know if I couldve handled it tough!" So I am glad that we stayed, but would definitely like to go back and visit.......SOON!!!

"Haffen to deff"

The other day when I pulled into the garage and opened my car door I got a fright. (HA! thats another Irish saying, not sure why those keep slipping out, but they do). Anyways, I opened the door and heard a loud banging noise coming from the window, I looked up and saw a bird STUCK in between the blinds and the window, flapping its little heart out trying desperately to escape. I screamed and jumped back into the car and slammed the door. I really DO try and not have such strange reactions to things like that especially when the girls are around, but I just couldnt help it. When I got back in the car Kaylee asked "what happened momma?" I said "that birdie is stuck, and mommy needs to help get it out." She said "did it scare you haffen to deff?" I proceeded to devise a little plan and ultimately free the poor little birdie who then flew away to find his mommy (as Kaylee so proudly announced).
Last week Kaylee was playing with some toys that we keep in a plastic bucket, she accidentally dropped the bucket on the tile floor and it made a VERY loud banging noise. I jumped (nearly out of my shoes) and turned to see what that noise was. She must have seen the terrified look on my face and said "mommy did that scare you haffen to deff?"
Now it is just a running little joke around here, sometimes I ask her to say it just because I like how she says it. TOO FUNNY!

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New things about Ainslee

Ainslee has said a few words. She says "more," "abba," "momma," "dadda," and "woof woof" for Tahoe. Well actually the sound she makes for Tahoe is more of a grunt/ moan sorta of sound if you can imagine what I am trying to say. Either way she is starting to be more interested in talking lately.

She has learned to become very frustrated with Kaylee. Whenever Kaylee comes and takes food off of Ainslee's tray (which is an every meal occurrence) she screams/ grunts and looks at me with desperate eyes trying to get me to help her. She does the same thing whenever Kaylee takes a toy away from her. Funny how she knows how to communicate.

She is currently in the process of cutting tooth #3 AND #4. I can see the white ridges under her gums, but they havent quite poked through yet. And both of them are on the bottom too. So that will make 4 teeth on bottom and none on top, I must check the top tomorrow to see if there is any action going on up there that I have just missed.

She has gotten much more comfortable on her feet, she still doesnt act like she is strong enough to walk yet, I know that sounds weird, but I cant figure out how to describe it any differently. But she is able to stand up by herself when in the middle of the room, without holding on to anything. She has done it a couple of times so far.

She is still eating everything in sight.

Still has a self imposed bedtime of 5:30-6pm (depending on the days activities). She will wake up one time a night to nurse, but is not on a regular schedule in that regard, like this morning she didnt wake up until 5:15am and then went back to bed until I had to wake her up to take Kaylee to school at 8:30. But some nights she will wake up for a feeding around midnight. The fact that she still wakes up really doesnt bother me (like I thought it would), I just wish I was able to sleep while she sleeps, Ive been having trouble in that regard lately.

She has started weening herself from nursing/ bottles (but thats info for a whole nother post)

And last, but not least, she is STILL a momma's girl to the core! I think I have made a few mistakes to cause this. When Kaylee was her age, she was used to other people (Marcus, grandparents, aunts) putting her down for naps or bedtime and giving bottles. Ainslee just isnt really comfortable with anyone else but me. And I hope this doesnt become a bigger issue than it is now, because it is definitely manageable now. She WILL go down and WILL take a bottle from others, but puts up a little fight in the process.

I think that is all that is new with little AZ AZ. Oh except that her big birthday is just around the corner......GOSH how time flies!

Bahama Breeze

We decided to use our $50 gift card I got in the mail after complaining about the service and food we received from a local restaurant at our last visit. I couldn't believe it when we got the letter of apology regarding my complaint and it was accompanied by 50 bucks! That makes $85 from that restaurant for the past 2 visits (after complaining about the horrible service, frozen food served to us, GF food that was completely botched, and more). So instead of subjecting ourselves to the torture of eating there again, after hitting up costco, the recycle place, and the mall for a few quick rides on the carousel, we decided to eat at one of our favorite spots, Bahama Breeze. If you haven't been there in awhile (like us) you should go. They have added many new things to the menu and their service and food are always GREAT! Since we had the "free money" we decided to splurge a little bit. We got this new appetizer Crab, Shrimp, Mango and Avocado Stack and it was divine! Obviously I didn't eat the shrimp bit the rest was gorgeous (as the Irish say). Ainslee took care of the avocado and mango. Kaylee chowed down on the chipy crackery garnish things that were served on the side, and the shrimp and some crab too. While Marcus and I finished off the rest. Oh it was soooo yummy!

For our main meals Marcus got his usual Lobster and Shrimp Linguine and I, YES ME, decided to step out of my box and order something completely different (I think this is only the 2nd time I have EVER ordered anything different at Bahama Breeze), I got the grilled salmon! And it too was fabulous! My sides were mashed sweet potatoes, broccoli, and plantains. We all left there pretty much stuffed. But afterwards Marcus and I decided that it is probably about time that we start ordering the girls their own meals, I think they can just about split and FINISH an entire adult meal. Kaylee helped Marcus with his lobster and shrimp from his dish (even though it was with the pasta, we have been letting her have little bits and pieces of gluten, havent decided when we will totally add it to her diet yet). Ainslee devoured everything I put in front of her (like that's anything new). But the biggest highlight of the night was the fact that Ainslee used the potty for the first time in a public place (well I think it is the 1st time). YAY Ainslee! And to think Kaylee was just about this age when I started EC with her. We got home a little after bedtime, and wisked them straight into their beds. It was such a great night.......wouldve been an even BETTER night if Marcus didnt have to go to work! I go through my phases, and currently I am in a phase where I cant sleep when he is not in the bed with me! Lets just say it makes for a LOOOONG week waiting for my 2 measly nights I get to cuddle with him. Oh well, the prices we pay.

Have a great week everyone!