Changes in Attitudes - Kindness Day

In many ways I know that i am doing this whole "mommy thing" great!  But there is one way that I have been failing them, Failing with a CAPITAL F! We dont speak kindly in our house. We talk too loud, on most occasions we dont ask we take, we lie, we talk back to adults, we take advantage of situations (in the wrong way), we dont respect each other, and most of all we just speak ugly. And I have had enough! I have wanted to do something about this for a LoooooONG time now, but until now it was all talk, no action. Today was that turning point. I have decided  that today is the start of our new attitudes, a new beginning for our family. One that involves a whole lotta KINDNESS!!! And I think respect will soon follow, if we all just start being more kind to one another.

Today we started the morning off slowly, I wasnt expecting much today because I knew Ainslee was starting to get sick. So we took the morning slowly very slow! The girls played nicely while I took longer than normal to get Brynlee down for her nap, they listened to my directions and completed a school game together AND correctly with NO supervision and NO fighting.

And then I broke it to them, I announced that today was kindness day. I told them we were going to start speaking kindly to each other, that we were going to make kindness crowns, and we started reading a book about respect, Im still on the hunt for a good curriculum that helps teach values to preschoolers. I need something on their level, I want something with activities and games and even ideas to help give back to the community. I need it laid out for me, I dont have time to put these lessons together myself, I need the easy way out. So if you know of any good books/curriculum that help teach things like respect, honesty, dedication, fairness, trust, helping, etc please let me know. I did borrow a few books from my parents that we had when we were younger, but I fear they are a bit too advanced for them at this age.

Our day started by me reading a few pages from the RESPECT book I got from my parents, the girls listened, asked questions, and seemed interested. Then Brynlee interrupted us, and I took that opportunity for a stopping point, we will read more tomorrow. Then we proceeded with our school day as usual. I took each an every opportunity to praise them for speaking kindly, and point out to them how they could change what they said to be more kind. I didnt raise my voice one single time today, I didnt get upset or angry by their actions at all, we were able to get a lot accomplished and we worked together. There was a tangible peace surrounding us today and it was nice! I was AMAZED by the results I received! Our morning went so fantastic. There was no complaining, there was no talking back, there was a WHOLE lot of listening, and it was magical!

We made kindness crowns! We cut them out and decorated them with stickers, colors, do a dots, and glitter pens. After they dry we are going to wear them, and wear them proudly! Because we all deserve it.

The part that made me realize I needed to document this whole kindness day came when it was nap time. I got Ainslee down for her nap. Kaylee and I finished up a few things together (I usually let her stay up a little later than Ainslee) we finished her kindness crown, ate cookies we baked this morning, she sorted the laundry and put hers away while I tended to Brynlee. It was magical! Then when it was time for bed, she didnt throw a fit, she didnt jump up and down, she didnt protest, she listened and spoke in a normal tone. When she had something to say she spoke kindly, she asked if she wanted something other than what was being offered. When I laid Brynlee down on her bed so I could go and take Ainslee to the potty, I came back to Kaylee talking to her while she put away her clothes. She was saying things like "Look B I'm putting my pajamas in my pajama drawer." and "now I am putting away my purple shirt." She is so eager to teach Brynlee. It was so sweet. After I put Ainslee back into bed, I came back and found this scene

I can not get over how much love Kaylee has for her little sister. I know that she loves Ainslee too, but the bond I see forming between Kaylee and Brynlee is nothing short of amazing and so incredibly special to watch. I wish I could capture more of the special moments I witness on camera.

check out the admiration in her face



ok so back to my story, I come in and witness that and then inform Kaylee it is bed time. We give kisses, hugs, say goodnight, and that was that. No crying, no arguing, NO FITS! And she went to sleep immediately, which is almost unheard of these days. I was so happy I nearly cried! I realized in that moment I have truly been failing my kids. I thought about all the fights that have ensued, all the tears that have been shed, and all the negativity shared amongst our family and I realized that if we all just make a point to change we can ALL be so much happier!

I couldnt believe how quickly I was able to see changes, and how drastically these changes affected our lives. We are calm, we are nice, we know that our voice will be heard without screaming and without fit throwing, and above all I think we are on the road to RESPECT! I learned that if I speak quieter it is more effective than when I yell. In the past I would say something, it would inevitably be ignored, so I in turn would say it louder and louder until I was angry and annoyed. And it didnt work, my new solution is to lower my voice, get the child's full attention, and speak kindly.  I want to raise our children a certain way and one of the most important things to me is respect, respect for yourself AND respect for others.  Here's to the beginning of the new Martinez family!