Ryan's Home Birth Story

The morning of Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014 will be one I never forget! I had been anticipating this moment for months (even years). I didn't know quite how it would turn out, I had played it over and over in my head and "planned" how I wanted certain things, but it turned out even better than I could ever have imagined. To say that it was perfect would be an understatement. God was definitely in control and the stars were aligned that morning.

It started the night before, I had trouble getting kaylee to bed, so I let her sleep in our bed. I had a funny feeling that she was trying to get closer to me because she knew that it was "baby night" as she and Ainslee called it. So off to bed we went and at 4:09 I awoke with the overwhelming feeling of pressure down low. I laid there for a minute desperately trying to remember how I knew it was the "real" thing with Brynlee because I remember just KNOWING that was the day.  Here is what my conversation with Marcus looked like next (notice the times)

 

We started filling the pool with water about 4:50, I called Lynda (my midwife) to let her know my progress. she asked "how far apart are they?" When I told her about 8 minutes she asked if she should come now. I sort of fumbled with my words and Marcus, very assertively said from the other room "last time when you were 8 min apart we had a baby in an hour." she said she heard Marcus and then said "we are on the way." I continued to time my contractions, pacing the house trying to figure out what I needed to do next. Then I felt like I needed to try and slow things down, they were moving too quick, so I tried getting in the polar bear pose to take the pressure off. That only lasted a few seconds before I felt like it was time to wake kaylee. I struggled to get her up, and then continued to pace the house bracing myself with the counter whenever a contraction came. I noticed my contractions jumped from 8 minutes apart to 3 minutes. I called Lynda back to tell her and she assured me they were close and coming as quickly as possible. The moment Marcus announced the pool was full I told him I needed to get in. His response was "NOW??!"  So I climbed in and my immediate reaction was "oh my gosh this feels SO NICE!" I tried to get comfortable as I awaited the next contraction. The first contraction that came while in the water was way different. I felt the pressure, but it felt different. It was like the pressure was released into the water instead of building up in me, if that makes any sense. At some point Marcus sent kaylee in to wake up Ainslee, I just can't remember exactly when that was in the timeline. So I'm in the pool and a few contractions came, and then I let out a scream I felt the urge to push, so I did and I could feel my water break like a big balloon under the water. I was so relieved, one of my biggest fears/concerns was were my water would break. I told Marcus what happened and he called Lynda back again, she told him how far away she was and he told her what happened. Next thing I know they came barging in the front door, drop their bags, and got the fetal heart monitor out to check on the baby. Next thing I know Lynda was telling me that I needed to move away from the wall of the pool because the baby would have no where to go when it came out, so I crawled to the other edge of the pool when I felt the next urge to push. I had 2 contractions close together and that was when he was born. Lynda and Marcus were there to catch him as he came into this world. I had envisioned me getting to be the one to lift my baby out of the water, I imagined how magical it would be to watch him take his first breath. But alas my plan was not meant to be, and looking back on it I am so thankful that Marcus was able to be the one to lift him up and announce his gender, especially since he is our first (and most likely only) boy.  Lynda quickly handed him to me and while I sat there in total awe of my beautiful baby all I could think was "I can't believe I have a son!"

(ignore the picture, and just listen to the sound)

I knew the entire pregnancy he was a boy but even now I still have trouble wrapping my brain around it. I get so excited when I think of all the fun things to come. I'm thrilled at the opportunity to experience what it will be like to raise daughters AND a son! Each day I fall more and more in love with him! He is more perfect than I ever could imagine and he has been the best and easiest baby so far.

After I delivered him there was no suctioning. There were no interventions. I was allowed to sit peacefully as long as I wanted, just holding and staring at him. After a few minutes of him not crying Lynda gently came over and began rubbing his feet to get him to let out a big cry to clear his lungs. And he did! We waited and waited for me to deliver the placenta before resorting to me getting out of the pool. I was helped out by Lynda and Penny (her assistant) and laid down on the couch. I had attempted nursing in the pool to try and help the placenta along and then again after I got out. Unfortunately the placenta was not budging. Now I believe the reason why I had trouble was because I pulled an oblique muscle (muscle in the side of my abdomen) and was unable to push. Thankfully with a little help from Lynda I was able to deliver the placenta about an hour after his birth and all went smoothly. Ainslee was much more interested and involved than I ever imagined, while Kaylee surprised me by not being involved; she was more interested in Ryan.  After the placenta I was able to get up and get cleaned up. Lynda did the newborn assessment on Ryan with the girls right there to watch. She examined the placenta to make sure everything looked ok, and even gave the girls a little lesson. Since I had talked at great lengths about the birth process with the girls they were very interested in that part. So Lynda let them put on gloves and touch the placenta as well as ask questions about everything. I know this isn't for everyone but I couldn't be more happy with how his birthday played out! It was PERFECT!

In the days following his birth I was able to recuperate in my own home, thankfully I had the help of lots of visitors as well as Marcus; who stepped up to the plate big time! He was amazing letting me sleep in every morning, dealing with my raging hormones, taking care of the girls, and keeping the house mostly cleaned and picked up. I do think that I over did it the first couple of days just because I can't stand being slowed down. When I see something that needs to be done I want to get up and do it immediately. Which in turn was the reason why my recovery turned out to be even more difficult than just dealing with the pulled oblique. I ended up straining my adductor muscles in both legs (muscles on the inside of your thighs). This was extremely painful, mostly at night when attempting to move/roll over.  But as far as the recovery from the actual birth and all that goes with it, that was easy and only lasted about 1/2 as long as my other births.

This is the last shot of me pregnant,

I said I wanted to do this with each pregnancy and never did.

-------------------------------------------------------------



 

Ive had that post written for just about 3 months, im not quite sure why I never posted it. But SOOOOO much has happened since then, I guess I'll go ahead and update it on here.

 

The biggest update I have is one of the most upsetting things for me to think/talk about. Ryan stopped nursing. He stopped just after he turned 2 months old.  I never thought this would/could happen to me. Ive never had a big problem nursing the girls, an occasional clogged duct and that's about it. But he hadn't been latching good, he was a fussy/gassy baby, he didn't eat good, he didn't sleep good, he cried and acted like he was in pain all the time. I finally gave in when I noticed he only gained a few ounces in 5 weeks. Im not a firm believer in growth charts and all that, but I knew something was wrong and that just confirmed it. I decided to ask my midwife for help. Within hours she and a lactation consultant were at my house trying to help. After many failed attempts the LC decided to try and give him a bottle to calm him and get him a little satisfied, and then try to nurse him again. So I pumped 2 ounces, she fed it to him. I think he drank it in 29 seconds and about 10 gulps. He was STARVING! I tried nursing again and he got so frustrated and refused to latch. So I pumped more and he took it from the bottle. I tried nursing again and still he wouldn't latch. And from that day on he has only nursed a handful of times and not for very long. It took me a long time to accept our new routine. In fact im still adjusting. Ive never had a bottle baby. I feel like it was all my fault, I could've done so many things differently. I cant provide for my child. I feel like a failure. it pains me to see other moms nursing their babies. I WANT to nurse him, and I just cant. Im still pumping, but Im only getting about 1/2 of what he eat in a day. Pumping is hard and painful, and time consuming. The little chunk wants to eat SO much! I know that this is what is best for him. He is such a different baby now. He sleeps, hes happy, he talks and coos, he doesn't scream in the car, and hes not in pain! He gained 8oz in just 5 days. he barely gained 1/2 that in the 5 weeks before.

So now he is on bottles full time. He will nurse a few times a week, but never to eat, mostly just for comfort. I used to have high hopes that I could pump long enough to maybe get him back on the breast full time, but alas as the days and weeks pass the less and less I think that will ever happen. I try to focus on the positives. Having a bottle baby is so much more freeing for me. I can leave him much earlier than I could with the girls. But the lack of bonding just kills me.

 

I am so thankful for the support of marcus and my midwife and the LC. Now my little guy weighs over 14lbs. he has gained about 3lbs in the month since starting bottles. and he SLEEPS, and is so happy! We have continued chiropractic care to try and help relieve the tension and possibly help get him to latch again.

 

Here's my little man so far....

 

 

To say this little man is loved is an understatement. I wish could describe how sweet and adoring his sisters are to him. They love him beyond words......and so do I!!!

Background: The Girls' Birth Stories

Im back.......and with LOTS of news........lets just say I REALLY need to think of a new name for this little neglected blog of mine


I wanted to post a little background info on my previous births before getting to "the most recent" amazingness i am so thankful I was able to experience. Don't get me wrong each one of them was super special in their own way. Let me just recap them all, as I remember them.

Kaylee my strong willed, mothering type, who can NOT wait to grow up. She was born at 5:15pm Sunday, January 7th, 2007 at GMH. She weighed 7lb 15.4oz. I added the .4 because the nurses actually argued as to whether or not they should list her at 7lb 15oz or bump her up to 8lb even. Whoever voted for the 7lb 15oz won, because that's what ended up being her official weight. She measured 20.75 inches long and pretty sure she scored 9 on both APGAR tests. I was induced with her somewhere between 5 and 7 days early; mostly because I was terrified of going into labor while teaching 18 4yr olds. I totally wish I would've know better. So we basically picked her birthday, told no one, showed up to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning, started the typical induction protocol and things started moving along rather quickly. I had decided I wanted to try going without the epidural, but when it came down to it I felt bullied by the nurses and sad to say Marcus scared me into it too. I think he was persuaded by the nurses as well. I dilated quickly the contractions were strong and close and when the nurse came in and said "you know it could be up to 2 hours before you get pain relief from the time you ask for your epidural". So I caved. Had my epidural shortly after and progressed even faster. I could only lay on my right side because if I ever tried to switch to my left side, move in the slightest way, Kaylee's heart rate would be affected and that didn't sit well with the nurses. So I was banished to my right side no matter how uncomfortable I was. And I also remember them trying to screw that fetal monitor thingy to her head, but thankfully she had so much hair they couldn't get it attached. What was I thinking? Oh I forgot to mention I had one of those "nurses in training" assigned to me too, which I didn't really have a problem with, they have to learn sometime right?? The reason why I mentioned that was because when it came time to push she had me sitting in a nearly upright position. My body was basically in a "V" shape. The baby could not descend any further due to this position so all my attempts at pushing, for like 1-2 hours mind you, were fruitless. I was beginning to tire, when I perked up and heard the doctors and nurses talking quietly by the door about a possible C-sec. I piped up rather loud and said "I will NOT have this baby by C-sec, so you might as well stop discussing that as an option". I tend to get really moody and hostile in labor. ;) shortly after that my head nurse came in to check on me and asked if I was comfortable and why I was in such an upright position. She suggested they lay the table back flat and BAM like 3 pushes later out pops Kaylee into our world! Why didn't I think of that? Total time in labor was about 9-10 hours and I required a few stitches for a minor tear. I was able to attempt nursing her almost immediately. Had a bit of trouble, knowing what I know now I had lots of trouble, and we were off to our postpartum room. She got all the routine procedures done to her accept that I asked that she be bathed in my room, not sure if it was her real first bath or not but they did bath her in my room. I had to be catheterized a few hours after having her because I had no feeling in my right leg, due to the epidural, so I was unable to get up and go to the bathroom by myself. It wasn't until the next day that I regained my mobility. So NOT cool! She went to the nursery each night and during the day when I requested it. We were discharged with a healthy baby 2 days later and our little family became a little bit bigger.

Ainslee my super sensitive, caring, thoughtful child was born at the same hospital at 12:34pm Thursday, February 12th, 2009. She weighed 7lb 4oz and was 20.25 inches long. Both her APGAR scores were also 9. I was also induced with her approximately 7 days early, it was originally scheduled for 15 days early due to our move to Hawaii. But when that fell through we moved the date back. I chose induction again primarily because I still felt such a high about Kaylee's birth, in my eyes it was perfect. (You know how they describe that feeling of your first high, that is never attainable again which is why people get addicted to drugs so easily. I wouldn't know firsthand but I clearly remember learning about it in school.) so for that reason only I chose to attempt to recreate the amazingness and induce again. Why didn't I realize that the amazingness I felt came from the fact that I brought home a beautiful, perfect baby girl. It wasn't the manner in which we chose to bring her home (make sense). Anyways, so again we picked the birthday, we told people about our induction this time, kaylee spent the night at my parents house the night before so we could go to the hospital early the next morning to start the routine all over again. Again I wanted to try and go without the epidural, especially with the complications I suffered after delivery last time. I asked if I could get up and walk around or squat or just try and manage my pain naturally. All my requests were denied. Finally, I was able to convince them to just let me get up and go to the bathroom. Labor progressed much faster this time and again I caved and got the epidural. I bet if they would've checked me prior to giving me the epi they wouldn't have given it, because I bet I was 9-10 cm dilated. She was born about 10 minutes after getting the epidural with little effort pushing. We were shocked and elated to hear we had another beautiful baby girl! I nursed her immediately and introduced her to her big sister shortly afterwards. Total time in labor was about 4-5 hours and I didn't require any stitches. During our second attempt at nursing, in delivery room, the nursery nurse came in and attempted to take her to the nursery for "evaluation and tests". I protested and said she was nursing and they could do the tests in my room when she was finished. They stated it was "hospital protocol" to take all babies to the nursery within 1 hour of birth." WHAT? So she came back at the one hour mark and physically took her off of my breast and whisked her away to the nursery for "testing".  To say I was pissed was an understatement. When they finally brought her back, not sure how much time had past, they informed me that her blood sugar was low and they needed to give her formula to raise it up. I thought my head was going to explode. I said "so you took her while she was nursing, and bring her back to me saying that she needs to eat because of her blood sugar?" Seriously? By this time she was so exhausted she wouldn't perk up enough to nurse. I was bullied more by the nurses about this whole blood sugar thing but thankfully I won and she was not given formula, at least to my knowledge. I asked if she could be bathed for the 1st time in my room, they again gave me trouble but finally agreed to the inconvenience. I didn't learn until days later that they actually bathed her for the 1st time in the nursery and then lied to me about it! I did allow her to go to the nursery at night but kept her in my room each day. Nursing came easier to me this time around. We were discharged 2 days later and our little family got a bit bigger.

Brynlee my OCD, impatient, game changer, but super lovable one came into our world at 6:54 am on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011. She weighed 8lb 10.6oz so they rounded her up to 8lb 11oz. She was 21 inches tall (but still think they measured wrong). I'm pretty sure I recall her scoring an 8 on one APGAR and 9 on the other. She is what I like to call my "unassisted hospital birth." I was adamant I didn't want to be induced, I didn't want to pick her birthday, I wanted what I set out for 5 years earlier when I was pregnant with kaylee. I deserved to labor and deliver how I wanted. This decision, I felt, was met with slight resistance from Marcus, as I don't think he could understand why I wanted to be in pain when I could have relief and why I wouldn't want to do the convenient thing and induce again. Thankfully he came to support my decisions.  I went into labor with her while Marcus was at work about 2:40ish that morning. Got up, cleaned some toilets, straightened my hair, called Marcus and my mom.....you can read her whole birth story here.  Basically this was more in line with what I had in mind when I pictured how I wanted originally to give birth. Well minus the trauma of it all. I wanted no interventions I wanted to be able to labor as my body dictated. And I didn't want them telling me what was "protocol". Again, I became hostile in labor when they attempted to do things I wasn't comfortable with, but for the most part I was pleased with this experience (again minus the trauma). I kept her by my side, literally, for the entire time we were in the hospital. I even had the nurses say to me when they came to check my blood pressure at all hours of the night, "you are going to put her back in her bassinet when you finish nursing....right???" Yeah sure whatever I need to say to make you go away and leave me alone. I struggled postpartum. I had issues I hadn't dealt with after my previous deliveries, and thankfully I was able to work through them in the weeks following her birth. She didn't have any of the typical "newborn protocol" done to her. I'm pretty sure all I let them do was the heel prick and the hearing screening. Nursing was super easy for me this time and we were discharged 2 days later.

In a nutshell those are the stories of my first 3 births as I recall them 7, 5, and 2 years later. Stay tuned for the most recent birth story.....